Love Improves You

Author Marianne Williamson says that there are only two forces in the universe: Love and fear. Having that in mind have a look at this jewel again. When we operate in fear it doesn’t feel good. When we’re around a person who’s operating from a place of fear it doesn’t feel good. Yet for some strange reason we still hang around.

Now I’m not condoning just getting up and running at the first sign of trouble. It is too easiness just to walk away from relationships; whether they are business friendship or intimate relationships. I’m not talking about moments of turmoil. I’m not talking about the spat that you had with your husband because he forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste.

What I’m talking about here staying in situations that are unhealthy over long periods of time. You can still love a person and be at a distance. You can still help that same person and not be in close proximity all the time.

If that person or situation is working from the stance of fear it will only drain you. So get out of there. If it’s not making you better it isn’t love!

So why don’t we stay? Is it because of love? Or is it because of fear? Often times fear where’s icing sugar that looks like love. But underneath it still is a stale old cake that is rotting and needs to go. Fear is that rushing cake. I know in retrospect in my own life, whether it was private or business I often over stayed because I was afraid of leaving. I was afraid I wouldn’t find another job. I was afraid I wouldn’t find another friend. I was afraid!

I said before that I often learned my lessons because the Universe has to hit me with a 2 x 4. I think I’m learning. I hope I’m learning. Because what I have learned is that one I operate from the place of love I have no need to fear. I have learned Love makes you more of what you are, not less. Thank you Marianne. Thank you lessons in life.

Love Improves You

Lift Others

Robert Green “Bob” Ingersoll was a Civil War veteran, American political leader, and orator during the Golden Age of free thought, noted for his broad range of culture and his defence of agnosticism. He was nicknamed “The Great Agnostic.”

Isn’t it wonderful that the universe has such a great sense of humour! The author of this jewel didn’t believe in any higher power, yet he wrote and we quote such a powerful Universal principle. Just another example of the Universe working in spite of us.

Have you ever been scheduled to go out and do something like visit someone? Perhaps that someone isn’t always easy to be around. Perhaps they’re sad. Perhaps they’re depressed. Perhaps they’re sick. You just don’t feel like it today. But you do it anyway. You go and you do the visit. You spend time with that person. Oddly, when you get home you feel great. Why is that? It is because we are lifting others.

Remember, the Universe can and will work in spite of us. But why work that way? Why not let the Universe work because of us?

Lift Others

Life's Unfolding

 

Is there something in your life that you really want? Is there a goal that you’re trying to reach? Is there a place you want to travel to? Are you looking for a relationship? Sometimes we see the Universe, or God, as some sort of Supernatural Santa Claus. But that’s just not true. It would be nice if it was.

 

At the same time, Universal law teaches us the same lesson that Jesus taught. He already knew, understood and lived this law. You have not because you ask not. And, ask and it will be given onto you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened.

 

I have come to learn that the Universe does not equal Santa Claus. Yet at the same time, I have learned that the Universe is extremely generous and is just waiting for us to ask, seek, knock.

 

There is a balance here though. The balance between fantasy and reality. Many get turned off of spirituality because they see it as fantasy. Why is that? It is because we humans, flawed as we are, continue to create God instead of letting God create us, for us, in us.

 

When we choose to live in Spirit our desires can only reflect what Spirit desires for us. So when someone who lives close to spirit asks, seeks, Knocks, he or she will only ask for their highest good. It is then that we see the constant unfolding of new desires and then constant alignment to those desires both from the Universe and ourselves.

 

Life's Unfolding

How To Feel Good About Yourself Everyday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5a3w5YjqlI&feature=youtu.be

How To Feel Good About Yourself Everyday

Remember When Music Videos Used to Mean Something? Some Still Do!

A family member recently posted on Facebook about racism. I would extend that posting to this AWESOME video. Please watch and share.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcfmfaIYWRU

 

Remember When Music Videos Used to Mean Something? Some Still Do!

Lies Hurt Forever

I often say I can tolerate a fool. But I have no time for liars! At least a fool has an excuse for being who they are. But lying is calculated and planned out. It has to be. Even if it’s on the spur of the moment the calculation is “Lie=self preservation+time to run+time to lie some more to cover this lie”.

I know, I’ve done it. We all have. I remember when I was a kid I went through that stage where I would tell lies to people like they were facts. My mother was a gifted intuitive who could push through a lie like tissue paper. She would ask me a question, “Why are you late home from school?” I would answer, “I had detention.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. The teacher was mean!”

“So how did you get home?”

“I walked along the train tracks.”

“That does it! They know that you live far from the damn school. They can’t just keep you after class and not call me. I was worried!!! (Notice the emotional guilt here). “I’m going to call that principal and God help them!”

She knew darn well that I was lying. She picks up the phone and I start crying. The school never did get a call. But I sure got a licken’.

Later I would learn the significance of that small yet painful lesson. I would learn that a lie could not just hurt me, but hurt the very people I love. And it would cause them to lose trust.

I had a person once who lied constantly about what they were doing that was not supposed to be happening. When I’d figure it out my ‘trust metre’ would drop. 100% to 50%. Then if they were lucky it may climb again in time to 60% or even 80%. But then the same old lie happened. The trust metre would drop to 35%. Then over time it may go up again. Then a lie would drive it back down. Each time, trust would be taken away and never come back. Each time, that became more and more. So much so that when the metre broke I terminated that relationship. I will never trust that person again. I can’t even have them anywhere near my life again because, even with forgiveness, trust can never be restored.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve had it happen. Perhaps you’ve been the victim. Perhaps you’ve been the culprit. We all have.

Lies Hurt Forever

Let Your True Colours Shine Through

The last few years have not been the easiest roller coaster ride for me. Probably for some of you who read this too. I have gone through a complete turnover of life once before, when I came out of the closet in 2000. I learned then and re-learned in these last few years who my REAL friends were. And amazingly who was willing to befriend me, even with my heaviness of spirit, my moments of utter bawling, my times of just plain giving up!

I’m reminded of a remix of True Colours that was done recently. You can listen to it here:

YouTube

Let Your True Colours Shine Through

Laugh

Our lives have become quicker, easier, instantaneous. The world has grown smaller. We can have many more ‘friends’ than is actually possible with such things as Facebook, Twitter and other social media. We can earn more, spend more, borrow more.

Yet, oddly, we seem to be laughing less? Why is that?

I have had a life that has had plenty and little or none. I have had trials and tribulations, like anyone. Yet no matter what station of life I have managed to attain it is the ability to laugh that makes it so much more liveable.  So go ahead…laugh!

 

Laugh

My Hero!

Well one of many. This lad, Kevin has become one of my heroes. Someone so young and so strong, yet so fragile, standing up for what is wrong in our world and doing all he can to help make it right…or at least okay. Bless you Kevin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=C3yqXeLJ0Kg

My Hero!

It's YOUR Journey, Not Theirs

This Jewel runs along the same lines as the posting I did last week about stories. We all have our own points of view. We all have our own truth. We all have our own journey to walk. I saw a movie some years ago. It wasn’t a spectacular movie. But it did have a point, which I like. It was called Vantage Point. A huge event was taking place and the movie was shot from several vantage points. It was the exact same event. It had the exact same players. It had the exact same outcome. But the vantage points were all different, showing different sides to the story.

Life is like that. Our journeys are like that. A couple may be together for 60 years. They have lived everyday with each other. They have eaten together, played together, raised children together; but from a different vantage point. Their truth may be slightly (or possibly hugely) different.

Their journey is different, even though they walk the same road. Remember that when you about to judge someone. Remember that when someone judges you.

It's YOUR Journey, Not Theirs

It Falls Into Place

There are times in all our lives when the roller coaster ride that is life just doesn’t make any sense at all. We lose our job, or health, or loved one. Everything we seem to do just goes in the pooper! Yup! Been there, done that and have many  t-shirts to prove it. And so do you I’m sure.

What I’ve learned from these times, especially when they seem to drag on for a long stretch is exactly what this jewel is telling us, live in the moment. Every moment of every day find something, anything that you enjoy: A cup of coffee, a nice chocolate, a walk, the sunshine, a warm home. We are truly blessed in our society. We have such abundance.

………This too shall pass

It Falls Into Place

A Gift...A REAL Gift

Such an inspiring story.

http://youtu.be/lK1vPu6U2B0

A Gift...A REAL Gift

Believe With Your Heart!

Over the last few years I have come to completely rely on my heart. Now I don’t mean that silly girlish romantic muck. I mean that feeling deep down when you know you’re on the wrong path or that someone is not to be trusted. When I’ve walked away from that I have regretted it. And I still walk away from it…often….too often.

The happiest people, big or small, believe with their hearts!

Believe With Your Heart!

Heart Ontrack

Gosh that’s a tough one! As I learn more and more about my intuitive abilities I learn more and more that trusting my heart, gut, intuition, sixth sense, whatever the label shows me that this is the secret to less and less stress and more and more peace. I am reading an excellent book right now by Sonia Choquette called Trust Your Vibes. Wow! Powerful stuff!

Heart Ontrack

Creation Tools

This has nothing to do with the power of manifestation (well it does actually) or The Secret or any of the stuff that’s out there really. It’s just simple fact. Our world has become so that we don’t need imagination; just turn on the TV or internet. We need MORE encouragement. We also need to encourage more.

With the right tools we truly can create anything. In fact with the right tools we can help each other create anything. Try it for someone else if not for yourself. Remember as a child. “You can do it….come on just peddle!” Well let’s do it for each other okay?

Creation Tools

Absolutely Inspiring Speech

Some of you will know Dustin Lance Black as the guy that is dating diver Tom Daley from when he made his OUTING announcement only a few months ago. Some may even know him for being the writer of MILK. And then some may never have heard of him at all. But this speech from a formerly shy boy will bring tears to your eyes, I’m sure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn83ni0Pn44&feature=youtu.be

Absolutely Inspiring Speech

I Have a Story

The second verse of the well-known prose Desiderata, written in 1927 - almost one hundred years ago. There has been much to do these days about the phrases, your truth, my truth, their truth, etc… But it’s not a new saying at all. But there is something that is new. It’s found in the first few words…Speak (it) quietly and clearly. I am so tired of having other people’s truth shoved down my throat, terrifying everyone around them the louder they shout and using what is thought to be credible references to do so. Stop it, please. Yes, go ahead, speak your truth…quietly and clearly.

And while you’re at it (or I’m at it for that matter) listen to others, even those you think are dull and ignorant (because if you don’t that makes you ignorant…and dull too for that matter). THE TRUTH is we ALL have a story (our truth) to tell.

Here’s my word to you:

If you will speak your truth quietly and clearly,

I will listen.

If you listen,

I will speak my truth quietly and clearly.

Δ

I Have a Story

Being Amazing

A number of years ago a great lady came into my life. She has since left and I wish she hadn’t. She not only got me to understand what living a life of integrity was through Landmark Education, she taught me something and I’ve kept it alive ever since: If you can’t show up AMAZING, then don’t show up at all! Yes we all have off days but that doesn’t mean we can’t still be AMAZING. Sometimes it takes AMAZING just to show up.

So now that’s the way it works for me. Angela, if you are out there and someone passes this along to you…THANK YOU!

Being Amazing

Are You Stuck?

Being a Cancerian true to nature, I really don’t like a lot of change. Being a recovering codependent I also can attest that I have stayed too long when it was time to leave, close up shop, burn the ship!

But because I am recovering I have learned to say good-bye when it’s time. I have learned this lesson.

 

Are You Stuck?

"The One"

As a hopeless romantic I really appreciate this one. Having had a very painful experience last time around, I look forward to this one!

"The One"

Throw it Away!? Not!

What do you do with your cooking oil after you use it? What does your favorite restaurant do with its used oil? Here’s a young woman who saw that oily resource being wasted and decided to do something awesome about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgCevU-HI0Y

Throw it Away!? Not!

Trust the Process!

Do you get tired of hearing people saying,

“Trust the process.” Or, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Or, “This too shall pass” (to which I always want to add, like an bad bowel movement!!!

But the fact of the matter is that you wouldn’t be where you are right now doing what you are doing right now with the resources you have right now had you not gone through the process of getting what you needed and learning to do what you’re doing and reside where you doing your life.

I know, I know, it seems all so…pontifical! (Now follow THIS LINK to get the meaning – go on!) And depending on who says it and when they say it and how they say it, it can be very pretentious, I agree. And I’ve had people do it. Heck! I’ve done it myself when I was feeling helpless and felt I needed to say something!

Like Forrest Gump said, “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” It’s true. You really have no idea what’s around the next corner. To which I say, Thank God!!!

For me I know beyond any shadow of doubt that I would not be here right now, doing anything for that matter, had I not gone through the series of what seemed at the times like disasters, but were actually lessons and steps (means to an end).

I realized this morning that this is the fourth summer that I have been single…actually I said out loud at the time “free”. And I was actually excited about that. But four summers ago as I began the journey of leaving an abusive, broken relationship I WAS NOT excited. I was terrified. I was devastated. I was spinning! I felt like my world was ending. I felt hopeless about any type of future. I felt like I was not just losing the love of my life, but losing my entire life. I’m sure you’ve had that same feeling, and probably more than once.

After that process started I found a place. A lovely little suite in a nearby town. I settled in, albeit in the deepest grief I’ve ever known. Then came the step of financial stress of starting over. Then came the next step of legal separation and then divorce. Then came the step of finding new contracts to support myself. Then came the step of going through my first dark (in more ways than one on the wet coast) winter. Then came the first time I would travel abroad alone. Then came the first Christmas. Then came the next step of my grief an emotional break. Then came the next step, loss of income due to lack of work. Then came the next step of finding a new contract. Then my second big vacation. Then winter again. Then a complete failure of my health from all the stress. Then recovery. Then the best work I’ve ever done. Then a hint of direction for my life again. Then financial disaster. Then recovery.

I’m sure I missed a ton of events, steps and lessons. But you get the picture. Not to hear, “Awwww, poor James!” If you do that to my face I might just laugh at you. Why? Because I know that this whole process has brought me to this moment. Have I always trusted the process? Certainly not! Have I always had faith? Well in some fashion, probably yes, or I wouldn’t be here…yet. Have I fought the process? Yes, at times. Have I liked the process? What are you crazy? No! Am I grateful for the process? Y.E.S.

MY TRUTH: Trust the process. It has been a constant theme in my life these last four years; beginning with the word I had saying that my life would look completely different in 3 – 5 years. That was four years ago last month. And boy, does it ever!!! I hope I am learning to trust the process easier. I hope that I am learning to be gracious and kind to myself when the tough times hit. I KNOW without a doubt, I have grown. Thank you to the Universe for conspiring to help me achieve it. (The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho)


Trust the Process!

Grief is About Letting Go...

Grief is about letting go.

Grief. It comes to all of us…sooner or later. Grieving. We all will have to grieve someone or something…sooner or later.

Yesterday (Saturday), I conducted the memorial service for the husband of a friend. It was only six months ago that I sat at their table planning a similar service for her brother-in-law. And she has had another death to grieve as well. It was the first service in many, many years that I found myself quaking, not from nerves, but in sharing the grief with all attending. It was the first time that I can remember that when I walked out of the chapel I had to make a quick exit to gain back my own composure.

Grief is about letting go.

Last night, my daughter, Sarah, walked into the living room and howled that her friend, Ryan, had been struck by a truck and killed during the day. He was only just starting his life. He had just moved hundred of kilometres away from his family and his girlfriend, to work in Alberta and earn some good income. As she left to go and be with her friends I found myself once again losing that composure.

Grief is about letting go.

This week I realized two of my own dreams were gone. One I have shared already on Wednesday, Bankruptcy? Insolvency? So Weary…. The second ‘loss’ was that of a future I thought was working its way out. The loss of faith in friends I thought I had made; trust gained, but not.

Grief is about letting go.

It’s not been the brightest of weeks. Nope! With regards to Wednesday’s blog, I will NOT be going into bankruptcy. That is good news. I will be doing the consumer proposal I was hoping for. But it will be about another 50 days before I know for sure that my creditors accept my proposal. My Trustee feels quite positive. But it marks a new walk of grief for me, the loss of my credit for a time to come. I have struggled with this process because for me it’s a thing of integrity. But I keep reminding myself integrity is not only about honesty or truth. It’s also about admitting our weakness and working to clean up any collateral damage.

With regards to the loss of faith in friends, I have adopted the philosophy in recent years, that friends are like the tides, they ebb and flow. If the tides pulls out too far then all changes. If it is only a partial tide, then hopefully something will return to normal, whatever normal is! But no matter what the tide does, the seascape changes…forever. Sometimes for the best, sometimes it seems not.

I have also grown in the last few years to know with certainty that even when times seem perplexing, it will pass.

For my friend, she entered into a grief process a few weeks ago when she found out that her beloved had terminal cancer. But her grief journey has only really begun. The one good thing in it all is that she is surrounded by such wonderful people who are there for her and will continue to be there for her.

For my daughter, her friends, his family, grief is just beginning. That sickness of stomach, heaviness of spirit, pain of loss that causes an instant vacuum for a time. For her, the death and loss of yet another friend so young takes away more of that innocence of youth.

My hope and prayer for all of us is that as the tide comes back in, again and again, and until some semblance of the pain is gone, that we all will not become more jaded or that much more cynical of life, of the Universe.

Grief is about letting go.

It seems for me that the last four years has been a constant letting go.

For my daughter it seems so unfair and is hard for this Dad, that her life, so young, has to be punctuated with this and other grief these days.

For her friend’s parents it seems that this letting go is so unnatural because no parent is supposed to outlive their child.

For my friend it seems that she had to let go all too soon, all too quickly, all so inexplicably, almost unnecessarily from what I understand.

Grief is about letting go.

My Truth: Yes, grief is about letting go. But when it seems as though there is so little to hold on to, when does receiving again start? I know it will for I have learned this in my 50 years. Grief: Denial, Anger,Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. If you are grieving someone or something today, take a look at where in this cycle you are. Allow yourself to be there. Allow yourself to progress (not necessarily in that order). Be kind; be gentle…to yourself. You deserve it.

Grief is About Letting Go...

Never! I Said NEVER...Judge a Book By Its Cover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7dPlCzUG44&app=desktop

 

Never! I Said NEVER...Judge a Book By Its Cover

In The Stillness...

This reminds me of the story of Elijah, the Prophet. He was in great distress and ran to a cave on Mount Horeb. While he was pleading with Yahweh for answers to his situation, Yahweh told him to go out to the mouth of the cave and wait for him. Elijah was sent a great wind, an earthquake and a raging fire. But God was not in any of them.

Then came a whisper. In that whisper was the voice of God. And in that moment, for the first time Elijah reacted by pulling his cloak over his face for protection or perhaps in shame. We really aren’t told. And that doesn’t really matter. The point here was that Elijah expected God to be in the HUGENESS of anything, not in the quietness of a whisper.

The Mystic/Poet Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi lived in the early 1200′s. The words in this jewel echo Elijah’s story found in the Bible in I Kings, chapter 19. Elijah is dated around the 9th century B.C., some 2000 years before Rumi. It is quite possible that Rumi had access to some of the early manuscripts that would later become the Old Testament of today’s Bible as he is thought to have practiced Islam who share many of the same prophets in the Holy Qur’an.

Whatever you name “God”, whether that is Goddess, Christ, Holy Spirit, Father, Abba, Universe, Higher Power, Higher Self, Creator, Holy One, Allah, Brahman, or just “Hey you! Are you listening?”, it matters not. However BIG you see that Force, know that he/she is as small as the smallest atom.

I have always been gobsmacked by the surprising way that this wonderful Being interrupts my life. I have had rough periods. I have had horrible periods. I have had sorrow. I have had joy. Like Elijah, when I seek his wonder in the BIG, she always surprises me with not being there at all; but in the small, still, quietness.

Have you had the experience of walking into a giant architectural marvel called a cathedral and just sat in silence and felt with assurance that you were not alone? Have you ever had that same experience just sitting by a quiet lake or stream? Have you had it whilst jumping up and down frantically, screaming in stress? Or when the TV or audio device was blasting your eardrums? I know my experience is that it is usually (and I’m being very cautious with the word usually, because it is almost always actually) when I take the time to be quiet and shut out the noise of the world and calm my inner noise as well that it is then that I find the answer I am looking for. There is always an answer. Again in my experience it is yes, no or wait. But there is always an answer. I just have to listen. Or as I wrote in a series you will find in the Archives, Practice The Presence.

In The Stillness...

Bankruptcy? Insolvency? So Weary...

Well, I have said that this blog is about the roller coaster of life. And I’ve promised myself and my readers honesty. So here it is. I have come to the end of my rope and don’t even have enough left to tie a knot. I’ve been down this road before.In 2000 my ex-wife and I filed for bankruptcy because of British Columbia’s Leaky Condo Syndrome. We lost everything. We only had about $3,000 worth of credit card debt at the time. It was our inability to keep up with all the extra costs associated with the condo crisis. They wanted a couple of thousand here and a few thousand there and because it was such a crisis in the province even our bank wouldn’t help. In retrospect we should never have gone bankrupt. I found out since that we could have just let the house be repossessed and kept on living. It was a degrading time in my life. I hated every moment, every piece of paperwork, every court date. To boot it was even used against me in my recent divorce by my ex-husband! So as you can well imagine I have fought long and hard these last 2 years to beat this. But I’ve lost the battle. And I’m angry, sad, pissed off, depressed.

Tomorrow I go see a Trustee tomorrow. Back at the start of March I started talking to a Consultant about something called a Consumer Proposal. This would take the form of negotiating with my creditors and paying out only part of my debt owing to them over a period of several months. It would end the constant calls and letters. It would allow me to live within my means and still pay something. He made such promises! But because he took so gosh darn long I fired him last week. He told me to stop paying the bills, which I did, two months ago. Last month I had to pay out over $300 in NSF charges because he still had done nothing at the end of two months. And he was going to charge me $2000 over and above, to do it too. I found out this week that the proper way of doing this is to include his fee in what would become my monthly payment. But that’s what happens when you go with a for-profit agency.

I’m still hoping to go the route of a Consumer Proposal to be honest. I will be seeing a legit firm tomorrow. The reasons for NOT going into bankruptcy a second time are simple. It would mean I could lose my car, which I can pay for, and need because of my health issues and living in a rural town miles away from my doctor and clients. It would also mean that I would carry this mess for up to 14 years because it is the second time. I would be retirement age then! To be honest, I just don’t know if I can face it. So I’m hoping, praying, begging…

I could blame the mess on a myriad of things. A very expensive and horrible divorce. A failed business. Failing health. Un and under – employment for the last 2.5 years. Using one creditor to pay the other. And some unwise use of credit. I used my credit to get through the divorce. I used it prior to prop up our finances as his business started to languish due to his addictions. I used it to get through the dry periods since. But when it comes down to it, it is totally my responsibility. It is MY credit. I signed it away. I could have said NO! And because I am who I am I accept that responsibility. And as such I want to pay my debts. I want to work. I want to be healthy. I want financial stability. And yes I’m aware of the Universal “rule” using want and not desire or intend. But I’ve done all that too!

So I am angry at myself. I am angry with the Universe/God/whatever you use. I am scared and sad. I feel as though the last three years of my life has consisted of one major crisis after another major crisis. I keep asking, “What am I doing wrong? What did I do to deserve so much pain?”

I have read over and over again in the blogs that I follow, and other reading, be grateful for what you DO have. I am grateful. I am even grateful for the debts because I have learned some really important lessons. But gratitude isn’t moving anything forward.

Deep down I know it will pass. Deep down I know I’ll be fine. But I’m tired of just fine to be honest. I’m tired of just scraping by. I’m tired of ill health, lack of financial stability, loneliness. I’m just tired…all the time it seems! I’m tired of hanging upside down on this ride!

So there you have it. That’s MY TRUTH as it stands today, this week, perhaps for the next while!

So why do I share this? Well, because I did promise to be honest with this blog. And of late, writing has been a burden because of this weight I’m carrying. My Mum used to share a burden shared is a burden halved. Maybe…

Bankruptcy? Insolvency? So Weary...

Kids Rate Their Mom's Parenting Skills

Kids rate their Mom’s Parenting Skills after their Mom’s were asked to rate themselves. This was quite the surprise for the Mom’s:

Happy Mother’s Day

Kids Rate Their Mom's Parenting Skills

Finding The Right Woman

I like this one! I know, I know, what does a gay guy know about finding the right woman? Whatever! Just wait a minute. If you really need to do it, then change woman to man if it makes you more comfy!

But just for the sake of this jewel let’s just leave it as it is. I have a son. He is now 21 years old! Gosh! Wherever did the time go? He never really asked me this question. But I hope he got from me the answer even without asking the question.

So many people (yes not just men) are looking for the partner who will complete them. Aghhhh! Stop right there! Do you honestly think you are only a part? Do you look at yourself as something that is broken, that needs someone to fix you? Then stop it!

God made us in his/her image. Get it?! And if you don’t believe in God or some Higher Power, then look at yourself from a biological/chemical standpoint. You are a grouping of molecules, cells, energy. The person you choose as a partner is made up exactly the same way (basically). yes the colour of the hair is different, the gender may be different (see I’m listening), the height may be different, etc… But when you get right down to the basics we are all exactly the same mass of chemicals and energy. So why on earth do you need someone to complete you? You don’t!

So instead of looking for that person. Look to your self. Look within. And if you are a spiritual person, then ask for guidance. Work on who you are BEFORE you try to find that wonderful person with whom you are going to spend years of your life with.

I’m proud of my son. You all already know that from my previous ramblings. He is a great young man. He’s not perfect. I know that. He knows that too. But he is kind and gentle and caring. Last year when we were on our cruise, one of our fellow dinner companions had a seizer at the table after I had left. Tim (age 19) took control of the situation and then saw her back to her stateroom afterwards. He made sure she was fine and even checked up on her the next morning. Now, that made this Dad proud.

Tim has a wonderful lady now. And I know that he does NOT believe that she is a completion of him. He is blessed to have someone to ride the roller coaster of life with. They will learn about themselves and each other on this ride.

 

Finding The Right Woman

Life's Roller Coaster: Change & Evolution

I don’t know about you, but sometimes change is scary! Sometimes it takes a huge event or crisis to cause me to make changes. How about you? The truth is I often say, “I’m not very good with change.” It’s kind of silly really, to say that. After all we are always changing. One hair grows in and several fall out. The sun sets and it rises. There is birth and there is death. Our entire human body is new every seven years, they say.

So why is it that we consider change to be scary? Why is it when we are being pushed from our comfort zone we tremble, hesitate, freeze? After all, change is all around and within us.

From my perspective, speaking for myself here, change is difficult because of it’s unpredictability. After all the sun will always rise and always set. I know that. But when it comes to those events in life like a new relationship, the ending of a relationship, a new job, a new home or change in financial stability, there is this element of unpredictability. Some people seem to thrive for the thrill of unpredictability. Usually, I am NOT one of those people. Sometimes I enjoy an element of risk, like on a roller coaster ride. But generally I like my routine. I like to know what I’m doing tomorrow. I like to know how the ball is going to land.

The last four years of my lie have been in a state of constant flux. From starting a new business, to starting AND ending a marriage, to moving house and home, not once, not twice, but three times. There have been changes in financial stability, changes in health, changes in routine. I was thinking about routine yesterday. I realize that at one time I was a creature of habit. I had my daily routine. I rose early, walked the dogs, got a shower, had coffee and breakfast, went to work, had a full routine at work, came home, walked the dogs, had a G & T, watched some TV or ran chores, went to bed. Started it all over again the next day.

My life resembles nothing like that now. Not a thing like it! And you know what? I’m glad. I have grown stronger. I have become wiser. I have seen more of life’s ups and downs in the last four years than in the previous 46! I have changed in so many ways. I am evolving.

Last weekend I was hit with the second bout of this year’s winter head cold, having only just recovered from a third bout of stomach flu for the season. I felt totally dejected. I just didn’t get it. I really felt sorry for myself. Then I found this jewel. Every single experience I have had these last few years has brought me to this place. If I’d continued in that same old routine, would I be writing this blog? Probably not! Would I be living in a different town – one that I’d never considered to live in? Definitely not! Would I have been happy? I can honestly say, no!

Thank you for giving me these last four years. It ain’t been easy! In fact it’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride! But thank you!!!

Life's Roller Coaster: Change & Evolution

Forgive But DON'T Forget!

I can remember when I was going through the depths of my marriage breakdown I saw a wonderful energy healer. She could sense my pain even before I came through the door. I can remember crying through several sessions with her, even a few months later after I’d tried everything to save the doomed marriage and finally chose to leave for my own safety and wellbeing. She taught me that it was so important to forgive and to release all the hurt and non-beneficial energies, feelings and associations. She also had seen a lot of pain in her life and told me in great wisdom after I chose to leave, that I could still care, love, forgive a person (specifically my ex-spouse) but that forgiving is NOT about forgetting. It’s about releasing the pain associated with love and forgiveness back to the Universe for complete healing. But I didn’t need to stay or hang out. Nor did I need to stay or hang out with the memories, pain or non-beneficial energies.

Well it’s been three years since I first saw Nina. I am so grateful for her life and the lessons she has learned so that she could be there and teach me as well. Neither one of us really would have chosen (in our present states) to go through such pain in our lives. But if you truly are a Universal Spiritual person you know that you DID choose these experiences for whatever reason. You also chose the people who would help you experience them. Knowing this and accepting this allowed me a great deal of personal power. It helped me to release blame and hatred. It helped me to replace it with Love, Light and Forgiveness.

I had a difficult time with this concept. I found myself wondering, then, if I should stay and continue this contract because it was pre-arranged. But as I grew and healed, even in that terrible time, I realized that I had met that part of our contract. It was time to move forward. It was time to release all the broken dreams, hopes and pain and move forward.

This morning I found myself pondering what I’ve been through since those days. They haven’t been easy times. In fact they’ve been downright painful and hard. And again and again, I have to release and forgive the pain and the blame I sometimes find myself cycling in. The last few days have been like that. I am still going through some of the residual longterm effects from that disaster in my life. But I believe the time is near when it will it all will reside in the past – in history – not in the present.

This morning I performed a small ceremony. I sat down and meditatively wrote out what I feel the residuals are, finance, health, loneliness. I also took time to write out my feelings of blame and bitterness. Then I finalized the writing with what my dreams and hopes are. I put down my pen and papers and meditated. I quickly released the non-beneficial pages and then dwelt on my hopes and dreams. I spent time feeling each hope and dream. I imagined and felt myself travelling to places like Hawaii (again, especially Kalani Retreat Centre), Great Britain, Italy, The Holy Land, Egypt and so many other places. I imagined and felt myself with a strong, healthier body. I imagined and felt myself with financial stability and integrity from a career I love. I imagined and felt myself with a person of integrity, who would love me, warts and all; and I him. I spent a goodly amount of time doing this.

Then I got up with my papers and went to the stove and lit them up (under the hood fan of course) and released with Love and Forgiveness all the pain and non-beneficial energy and cords. I then lit up my dreams as a commitment to myself and prayer to the Universe/God. Then I used some sage to smudge and clear all the energy. I then lit a candle (tea light actually – it’s safer to leave). The candle for me represents the Light of God that I now allow to burn and light my path, leaving all that behind.

I believe that ceremony is so important in my life and in anyone’s life actually. We have become a society that has left ritual and ceremony behind for TV, Social Media and intellect. When a person dies, we ‘get rid of it’ as quickly as possible, often refusing to do any type of ceremony. When we lose a friend or favourite keepsake we don’t take time to grieve (which is a rite in itself). When we graduate, we don’t celebrate. When we are promoted we don’t celebrate. The ceremony itself doesn’t hold any magic. It’s the doing of the ceremony that holds magic. Why? Because it’s our connection with a Higher Power, recognizing that the past is the past, today is in this moment and tomorrow…well…it’s an adventure yet to be lived. Why would I choose to carry a bolder on my back up a mountain? Let it go. Our Psyche needs it. Our Spirit needs it. Our humanity needs it.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done similar ceremony around this stuff. It may not be the last time either. I will do it as many times as it takes! Do you have something in your life that you need or desire to let go of? Then figure out a meaningful ceremony that will help you. Do you need emotional or spiritual healing from a broken relationship or lost job or some other loss? Then find a way to do that: write, burn, light a candle, pray, meditate, find a Celebrant, Pastor, Priest to help. When my divorce was finalized I went back to the park where the wedding ceremony took place. I took my witness with me. I did a ceremony and buried my wedding ring and the commitment ring I wore for years prior to the wedding. After all, I surmised, What do we usually do when someone/something dies? We bury it! It was a wonderful, tearful for all, release.

It is so important to forgive. It is so important to release all the emotion, energy, bonds connected to the pain. But it’s also important to remember that pain. Why? So that you can learn from it. Not wallow in it. And when we learn we can make choices based in that learning. For me it was to leave that painful and unsafe situation. For you????

Thank you FOR-GIVING me this situation. I have learned. I am stronger. I am softer. I AM!

Thank you Nina. Much Light and Love.

Forgive But DON'T Forget!

Love...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TBd-UCwVAY

Love...

Conquer Self

Do you have those annoying habits? Is there something in your life that you wish you could change? Do you need to lose weight? Shape up? Go to the Gym? Lose a few wrinkles?

Well guess what? That’s NOT what this one’s about. This isn’t about wanting to change something. This is more about learning to know yourself and being present to that. Once you get present to yourself you have already conquered yourself.

Why do I say that? Well, simply put: If you love yourself, you won’t need to change anything. If you learn to conquer/love/understand yourself you will be happy with who you are…wrinkles and all.

What are some of the signs that you haven’t gotten yourself conquered?

• Judging others


• Lying to cover up things


• ‘Stretching’ the truth


• Always wanting more

The first one is always a clue for me. The moment I start to judge others I know I’m trying to conquer them. WRONG!!!! By looking inward I stop looking outward.

Conquer Self

Ever Have One of THOSE Days???

Last week I had one of THOSE weeks!!! You know the ones, “Woe is me! I wasted years of my life with someone who didn’t love me back” “Woe is me because of the mountain of debt caused in that relationship and the ensuing divorce and setting up life again.” “Why? I’m so much smarter than all that?” “Woe is me because…blah, blah, blah..”

I hate it when I get into that phase; I really do. It is the most unproductive, unsettling, depressing places to waste all my energies. But I go there at times. So do you right? And if you’re anything like me, not only do you wallow in self pity, you then build a solid case of self-loathing, not just for the subject of your woe but also for allowing yourself to fall into self pity. “How dumb am I? What am I doing allowing this to take over my days and nights? Why can’t I beat this?”

This Jewel helps me to see that those years I loathe myself for weren’t a waste….well at least wisdom says so. But I still go there. And so do you.

So how did I get out of it? Well it took time. In fact it took a few days to get out of it. I was quite run down again due to insomnia. So I slept…A LOT! I didn’t take on any big projects. I forced myself to get out of the apartment to go to the grocery store or to work (even though I wasn’t scheduled) and shared in a glass of champagne and Boston Cream Birthday Cake for a workmate that I truly love. I watched TV a lot. And I slept…more.

We all get periods like this. And when we do we do not need to be beaten up anymore than we already feel. In these times we need to take care of ourselves. Take a hot bath with a glass of wine, if that’s your thing. Sit in the sun. Write. Cry. Pray. Meditate. Get out of the house. Cuddle the dog more than you usually do.

And more than anything else remember those challenges…make you who you are today. Would you rather be someone else? Really? You have no idea what they are truly like. So just be you. Love yourself. Care for yourself. Truly there are no mistakes.

Ever Have One of THOSE Days???

Forgive Others For Your OWN Sake!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I do not forgive others because they should be or have a right to be. I forgive because I desire to have peace in my heart and mind and move forward with my life.

I can remember growing up with The Lord’s Prayer:

…Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…

I had this incorrect thought that God would only forgive me IF I forgave others. It’s a great childhood lesson: Don’t hold grudges! But for me at least, I always believed it wasn’t possible to get forgiveness until I had forgiven all. This is such a cock up! Whatever your concept or name of/for God is, she is not that terrible parent just waiting to slap us silly.

But the real reason for not holding grudges is simply that it doesn’t usually hurt the offender. Grudgery (my word) only hurts the one holding the grudge – me! You know how it goes. I feel hurt. I don’t let it go so it affects everything I do. I am sad, hurt, angry. When I have the same opportunity offered again I won’t go there because I got hurt the last time. I grow more bitter, not better. I grow old and alone.

MY TRUTH: To always (or at least as best as I possibly can) say,

Thank you for-giving me this experience. I have learned something about myself from it.

 

Forgive Others For Your OWN Sake!

Do Unto Others....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaWA2GbcnJU

Do Unto Others....

Forgiveness Prayer

Guess what? I’m not perfect! Did you know that? Seriously though, this jewel shows us as imperfect people. And we are that. We do wrong people. We are selfish and don’t reach out to the needy. We are neglectful.

Now that I’ve depressed you I want to help you feel a bit better. I know I need that too.

Yes I have wronged people along the way. So what can I do about it? Ask for forgiveness. Now realize, sometimes we are truly contrite and ask someone for their forgiveness and they just downright refuse. That’s okay – that’s their right! You have done your part – if you are truly contrite. Walk away. Don’t carry the guilt anymore. Guilt is such a paralyzing emotion. You don’t need it. I don’t need it. So when you feel it, deal with ASAP and then leave it behind or it may leave you behind.

I have helped many people in my life. But I haven’t always helped them as much as I wished I could have. Be careful with that! Guilt is sneaking in again. Don’t let it. I did my best.

I have also neglected people on this journey. At the time I may have thought I had a good reason for doing so. I may have actually had a good reason too. But I am NOT perfect. Sometimes I have fallen short of the mark. Perhaps that day it was all I could give.

I have been helped by so many throughout my life. Some of those folk are no longer part of my life; many aren’t. Some have left this life. Some are still very much part of my life. Even those who have hurt me along the way have actually helped me. They have helped me to know myself better, trust more carefully, learn to forgive, be stronger. I would not be who I am today without so many people in my life.

MY TRUTH: My best today may not be as good as my best yesterday. But it’s still my best. And my best tomorrow may or may not be the same best I put forth today. But it’s still my best. And the best is all anyone can truly expect.

Forgiveness Prayer

Forgiveness Is An Attitude

Why is it all the great men of history had to die so young? Look at it for a moment: Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, JFK and so many others. You may or may not agree with some of any of these being great but that’s okay.

Today we get our jewel of wisdom from Martin Luther King Jr. This is a man who endured much pain and misery because of his skin colour. This is a man who grew up in violence and segregation. Yet he was able to not only forgive others but to constantly live IN forgiveness.

I have used the quote many times in this blog, “Thank you FOR-GIVING-ME this experience”. This is living in the constant attitude of forgiveness.  Sometimes it does get tiresome, this constant badgering of our souls and lives. Sometimes we do find ourselves worn to the bone and feeling sorry for ourselves. That’s okay too. We all deserve the occasion down times. But when we’re done, be done! Get back up and move right back into the attitude of forgiveness.

 

Forgiveness Is An Attitude

Trust Youself To Lead

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=em-uploademail&v=dBMEe9y4T_U

Trust Youself To Lead

Time To Pay It Forward

I am always blessed by random acts of kindness. It restores my faith in people. We sometimes get so caught up in the drama and rush of our day-to-day lives that we forget that there may be a reason for the drama. And even more importantly, that you and I can actually do something about it.

I came across this blog entry on Huffington Post HERE.

It was written by a fellow blogger on her blog HERE. Her Facebook Page is HERE

You can also learn more about Andrea and her family HERE.

I do have permission from Andrea to feature her blog today – just in case you were wondering. Enjoy the read. And remember…

…Pay it forward

 icon-star-o

To the Woman Behind Me in Line at the Grocery Store

 

Posted on March 19, 2014

Dear woman behind me in line at the grocery store,

You don’t know me. You have no clue what my life has been like since October 1, 2013. You have no clue that my family has gone through the wringer. You have no clue that we have faced unbelievable hardship. You have no clue we have been humiliated, humbled, destitute.

You have no clue I have cried more days than not; that I fight against bitterness taking control of my heart. You have no clue that my husband’s pride was shattered. You have no clue my kids have had the worries of an adult on their shoulders. You have no clue their innocence was snatched from them for no good reason. You know none of this.

What you do know is I tried to buy my kids some food and that the EBT machine was down so I couldn’t buy that food. I didn’t have any cash or my debit card with me. I only had my SNAP card. All you heard was me saying “No, don’t hold it for me. My kids are hungry now and I have no other way of paying for this.” You didn’t judge me. You didn’t snarl “Maybe you should have less kids.” You didn’t say “Well, get a job and learn to support yourself.” You didn’t look away in embarrassment or shame for me. You didn’t make any assumptions at all.

What you did was you paid that $17.38 grocery bill for us. You gave my kids bananas, yogurt, apple juice, cheese sticks, and a peach ice tea for me; a rare treat and splurge. You let me hug you and promise through my tears that I WILL pay this forward. I WILL pay someone’s grocery bill for them. That $17.38 may not have been a lot for you, but it was priceless to us. In the car my kids couldn’t stop gushing about you; our “angel in disguise.” They prayed for you. They prayed you would be blessed. You restored some of our lost faith. One simple and small action changed our lives. You probably have forgotten about us by now, but we haven’t forgotten about you. You will forever be a part of us even though we don’t even know your name.

You have no clue how grateful and embarrassed I am that we pay for all our food with SNAP. We eat well thanks to the government. I love that. I love that the government makes sure my kids are cared for. It is one less worry for us. I also struggle with pride and embarrassment. I defiantly tell people we are on SNAP. Daring them to judge us.

Only those closest to us know why we are on SNAP. They know my husband is a hard worker who was laid off after 17 years in a management position with his former company. They know we were moved from our home to a new state only to be left homeless since the house we had came with the job he lost. Only those closest to us know my husband works part-time while looking tirelessly for more; that he has submitted more applications than he has received interviews for. Too many jobs are only offering part-time work anymore. It is not easy for a 40-something year old to find a job that will support his family of 5 kids.

You know none of this but you didn’t let that stop you from being compassionate and generous to someone you have never met.

To the woman behind me at the grocery store, you have no idea how much we appreciate you. You have no idea the impact you had on my kids. You have no idea how incredibly thankful I am for you. Your action may have been small, but to us it was monumental. Thank you.

Thank you for not judging us. Thank you for giving my kids a snack when they were quite hungry. Thank you. Just thank you.

Forever,

Andrea, the woman in front of you at the grocery store with the cart full of kids who are no longer hungry

***UPDATE***

The outpouring of kind words and generosity has been, shall we say, overwhelming. It is in my nature to want to deflect the gifts and offers of support to other deserving people and organizations. Perhaps it can be called pride, but I honestly feel uncomfortable accepting what others seem too willingly to want to give.  I have spoken to those closest to me in my life and they have counseled me greatly.  Each and every one of them asked me to put my “pride” aside and accept the blessings that are being offered.  Each of them have sited the too frequent sleepless and prayerful nights I have had over the challenges my family faces. I have always found peace in the love of my family, the gratitude for the things and people in my life, and the knowledge that God will show me the plan as I need to know.  My confidants have shone the light on the fact that THIS could very well be the answer to those prayers. How beautifully perfect it presents itself by sharing that blessing with thousands of people all across the world! The singular act of that kind woman in the grocery store has created a ripple effect that I am certain no one could have ever predicted. As a result, my own personal prayers are being addressed as well. Giving me (and countless others!) the opportunity to continue paying it forward.

I have set up a PayPal donation site. It is not in the spirit of assumption but of pure gratitude that I do this. I, and my family, thank you from the very bottom of our hearts. We will pay it forward many times over and never forget the generosity you have shown.

Lend a Hand

PS for those inquiring about where to send items we have a PO Box set up

Andrea and her family. Photo: True Stories of a Midwest Yankee

PO Box 101

Oakland City, IN 47660–

~Andrea AKA A Midwest YankeeCHALLENGE: Over the next few days make a commitment to reach out and help someone. Don’t do if for accolades. Don’t do it because I challenged you. Do it…just because. I promise your selflessness will be worth it, not only to that person, but to yourself.

Time To Pay It Forward

Healing Damage

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Healing Damage

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

It’s not easy in our day and age to create what Dr. Northrup is talking about. We get so wound up in the drama that surrounds us. We even think it’s the right thing to do. We think we are helping others if we get as upset as they. We believe that without us that loved one would fall flat on their face. This is actually referred to as codependence. And codependence is actually a form of narcissism.  We hold this belief that “they need me” or “they will be so hurt if I walk away.” But in reality it’s really all about me when I say that. Look at it again. “They need ME,” and “They will be so hurt if I walk away. It really is about ME. Can you see it now?

Because we choose to live like Jesus we then develop, not only the Saviour Complex, we also become martyrs, miserable, hard done by, resentful and even contributing to the abusive cycle we may be in with someone. This again is called codependence. Believe me, I know. I’ve been there and done that and have MANY t-shirts to show for it. I am a recovering codependent. I admit it. I hope and pray that I have learned to let go of drama and change my beliefs and behaviours. And guess what? I’m starting to see the clouds clear. It has taken three years. But then again it took a lifetime of being a codependent to cause the sadness in my life.

What about you? Do you chose drama? Being a Saviour? Being a codependent? If you see yourself in this, and even if you don’t I highly recommend a book by Melody Beattie called Codependent No More! It literally saved my life.

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

Broken Yet Believing

Life can really suck sometimes, can’t it? Right!?! Sometimes by the time we get to the front of the line the till closes! Sometimes sh&* happens! It’s true! It’s just the natural order of things.

A number of years ago I remember coming across a Guru (sorry I don’t remember who). He was interviewing this poor woman. She had had a terrible time. Her life was just a catastrophe. And when it wasn’t it was just waiting to be a catastrophe!

I remember watching the two of them. She was crying her life was so terrible. She had been truly and deeply broken. He listened intently. You could see the compassion in him. You could see that she was really showing him how hard her life had been up to this point. Then she was finished.

“So what!”

You would have thought a wind storm had hit with the sound of the collective gasps!

Boy did we read him wrong! He’s an ass! People were in shock. But no one could speak. She looked at her compassionate listener and all the blood had drained from her face. The tears had stopped alright. But not because she was feeling better. If anything she was now in shock; yet another blow, another heart crushing moment.

He then said something like, “You’ve had a terrible time of it (Janet). Life has really been challenging for you. In fact I can honestly say you’ve really been through some real sh*!. So what!”

And there it was again!

“You’ve had a terrible past. It has been painful. But it’s in the past. You’ve now told your story with all it’s emotion and pain. Good! That’s it! It’s all yesterday’s news now! So what…now? Is your life terrible right here, right now? Haven’t you been enjoying this weekend? You’ve made new friends who’ve listened to your pain. So what do you plan to be now….tomorrow…next week…next year? Are you going to let all that crap dictate to you? Are you going to be a victim? You are a bright woman. You are beautiful, smart, educated. The past is behind you. It’s not beside you and you certainly don’t need it in front of you. Look in front of you. Do it now? What do you see?”

Blank face.

“Exactly….nothing. There is absolutely NO  THING in front of you. The future is clear. So all that stuff you just told me is just ‘so what’. It means nothing unless you allow it to; allow it to control you and your destiny. So what? What do you want to be? What do you want to see? What are you capable of? So what?”

I got it! In that moment many of us got it! Sometimes life is challenging. Sometimes life is painful. Sometimes it’s downright sh*!!y! SO WHAT!? What now? What can I do with now, tomorrow, next week? And why on earth would I want to drag all of that stuff with me?

Yes the mind is a wonderful thing. It truly is (except when I can’t find my reading glasses or keys). It is the most magnificent computer ever created. But yet, sometimes the mind is downright stupid! We go through pain and then instead of letting it go (and I know we sometimes need time to deal with pain, it’s called grieving…not wallowing though) the mind keeps it right there in front of us. Aghhhh!

A few days ago I was out with Gracie the wonder wiener dog. She is not always the most social of butterflies. In fact she can be downright aggressive. I hope that one day I’ll figure it out of her. Maybe not. So what, right! Well, anyhow, I was out with her and she had one of her spaz attacks and went ballistic at a person across the street. I hollered and she settled back to ‘normal’ (whatever that is). Then she did something. She shook herself. She shook off the aggression. The hair on her back went flat again and she went on sniffing for whatever dogs sniff for. It was over; done…finished!

MY TRUTH: Spirit make me an instrument of your LOVE. When I have been hurt. When I have been really hurt. When I have been devastated…help me to get to that point of saying “So what!” and move on, shake it off…love again. It doesn’t have to be a lover. It may be a workmate or a friend or a family member. Take my broken heart and make me something better.

Broken Yet Believing

An Amazing April Fool's Prank...Best Ever!

This Waitress Becomes The Victim

Of A Life Changing Prank

 

Meet Chelsea Roff. An average waitress who raised her sister alone from a very young age, suffered from an eating disorder (weighing only 58 pounds at one point of time) and runs a non profit yoga clinic to help people suffering from the former. Her friends and colleagues step in to trap her in this amazing April fools prank.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2zUf06iy1A

For the full website SHAREDOTS go here

An Amazing April Fool's Prank...Best Ever!

Little Things Are Big Things

Remember when Grandma made you chocolate cake when you had a cold? Remember when you had a friend who just sat with you when you were not in a talking mood? Remember when you did these things? Well do them again. Do them often.

It’s the small acts of kindness that make the biggest impact. It’s the smallest gesture of goodness that makes the biggest impression. What happened to the day when you held open the door for a lady? What about doing it for a guy? What happened to giving up the seat on the bus for the little old lady? What about doing it for the healthy girl or guy?

TODAY’S ASSIGNMENT: In some small way…make a HUGE impact!

 

Little Things Are Big Things

Courage

Isn’t this a wonderful jewel? I used to be an A-Type personality. I used to be a rather impatient person, especially with myself, but with others too. I used to be a conqueror not an encourager. I used to try to push, push, push.

I’m not sure when it happened. But somewhere between 10 and 40 I began to be conscious of what damage I was doing to myself and others when I pushed to hard. I began to realize that you can’t push the river because the river will push back…harder…and probably win. I realized that a snail can only move at a snail’s pace. I began to realize that we all have moments, days, periods, in our lives when we are ALL turtles struggling to get off the beach into the safety of the water.

Plato was a wise man! Wow! What an insight right?! Not really. We all already knew that.

TODAY’S ASSIGNMENT: No this isn’t a push thing. It’s an observation and compassion thing. Notice someone who is doing their best to be all that they can be and encourage them. Notice someone who is judging themselves for not meeting someone else’s or their own expectations and help them to see that they can only be expected to do their best. And today’s best may well look different from yesterday’s best or tomorrow’s best. Be and encourager, not a pusher today.

 

Courage

Every Soul Is A Mirror

I’ve heard it said over and over again that relationships are about learning or that relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Over the last few years I have done a lot of study and work around relationships; the mystery of, the joy of, the reasons for, good ones, not so good ones, ‘failed’ ones, and so on.

But what I have experienced as my truth is that I learn from every relationship I have, whether that be a businesses relationship, acquaintance, friendship, intimate (even though I haven’t had one of those in a long time now), and even my children. Oh and let’s not forget animals too.

I have learned that often times we seem to be attracted to the antithesis (big word? = opposite) of what we’d expect or are. Why is this? Well they say that opposites attract. And to a certain extent that can be true. But often a quite person is attracted to a more outgoing person because they wish to experience that outgoing-ness in a safe relationship. Sometimes he may want her to draw him out so that he can be more fun.

Sometimes we are drawn to abusive types too. This used to be a conundrum for me. I think I understand it now. I can lay all kind of layers of psycho-babble to it. But simply put, we are drawn to abusive people because we often have that as a disowned self. For more on disowned selves I recommend any reading by Doctors Hall and Sidra Stone (Wikipedia Link, their website, Amazon). They have written a great deal of material around this subject and how it relates to relationships as well. Excellent Reading!

When we become aware of the various parts of our own psyche we can integrate them into ourselves and own them all. We then become more balanced and when we enter into any relationship we then can realize and see ourselves in other people and learn from that. We can also become so much more compassionate about other people and their shortcomings because we feel safe admitting that deep down we know we have shortcomings to…perhaps even the same ones.

Being a parent is the best classroom someone can ever be in, I think. I have learned so much from my kids. They have taught me patience (after many, many temper tantrums…and I don’t mean theirs). They have taught me unconditional love. They have taught me the value of discipline (I don’t mean the corporal type I mean self-discipline). They have taught me to be strong, to rely on them and others when the need be.

MY TRUTH: I hope one day to have another chance at an intimate relationship too. There is so much I want to do differently. But more than that, I hope to one day have that safe place where learning about self and someone close it wonderful and supportive and ongoing. But for now, every time I look at someone else instead of projecting myself onto them I try to see them as a mirror of my own soul.

 

Every Soul Is A Mirror

Stop The Bullying!

Everyone’s Been Bullied. Not Everyone Responds Like This 15-Year-Old Girl.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQrCti-hqu0#t=125

- See more at: http://onevoice.net.nz/#sthash.WTmgyjPD.M55ZGIJP.dpuf

Stop The Bullying!

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

I like Deepak! He has come to this time in our history for a reason. He, in my opinion, is a modern-day prophet. He has written so much, done so much to raise the consciousness of this planet. Yes there are others, many others. I’m not denying that. In fact I love many different prophets. Another prophet has said it like this: Don’t make assumptions. Can you place who it is? That’s right, Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s been many years since I started reading The Four Agreements. I read it at least once a year.

I love to sit in a mall or in a park and watch people. Don’t you? It’s fun. I sit and enjoy watching people having fun and just hanging out. I also like to create little stories about them.

O look at the lady in blue. Her hair looks like it came through a wind tunnel. That dress, barely hanging out of the bottom of her blue coat, looks like she slept in it. And look at that! Has she got puke on her back? What a mess she is!!! 

Then along comes three wonderful little bundles of joy. Triplets! They can’t be more than 5 or 6! And whose that? OMG!!!! Is that her partner??? He’s got another kid! No actually it’s a baby!

She’s a saint!!!

I sure changed my story. Mr. Judgey my daughter would call me. But we do it don’t we?

The same happens when someone says something the wrong way. We judge them. Bitch! 

And when a client doesn’t show up for an appointment. Well that’s considerate! My time is valuable!

But what we don’t know, and can’t possibly know, is what’s going on behind the face, the words, the missing person.

And even if the person is being a jerk or inconsiderate, they are only doing what they can at this point in their journey. Remember, you haven’t always been perfect you know!

MY TRUTH: It is my daily prayer that I be compassionate, understanding, caring, non-judgmental. I’m not always doing it. I’m not always even trying to do it. Forgive me for when I judge. Forgive me if I’ve judged you. Forgive me for not being as kind and compassionate as I desire to be.

 

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

Celebrate The Little Things

I love Snoopy! He is my favourite Beagle! I like the other characters just fine, but Snoopy…. He’s my hero!

I used to be a very driven, A-Type personality. I have had 2 breakdowns, maybe even three. I’ve burned out at work more often than I care to admit. I’ve caused my body to rebel and shut down. I live with pain daily, probably because of this very behaviour.

Somewhere along the way in all my driven-ness, I forgot about Snoopy. I forgot to celebrate the little things. I forgot that when the world seems to be crashing down all around me that there are still little things to celebrate. Yes there are.

Every night before I go to sleep I write in my Gratitude Journal. Some days are hard and painful to get through. But I can still be grateful. In fact I have learned that when I am grateful for everything even the rough patches, that there are more good times ahead. When I keep myself in the attitude of gratitude it gets easier.

So here’s an entry from my journal:

• I am grateful for a pillow to lay down my very sore neck.


• I am grateful for the soreness in my body. It’s trying to remind me to slow down a bit.


• I am grateful for my kids.


• I am grateful for my wee apartment.

I usually list 10 or more. And yes I even include the lousy things that happened in my day. Why? Because there’s always someone, somewhere, having it harder than me. Because I am still above ground and can actually experience my life. Now it would be foolish to be thankful for terrible events. If a child dies am I thankful? Certainly not!!! Let’s not be foolish. But in time, I may become grateful for the events surrounding that tragedy. I may have acquired new friends. I may have been able to help others through their pain because I’d been there. So yes, I can be grateful, even in the midst of pain.

Try it!

 

Celebrate The Little Things

April Fools Day-Happy Birthday Tim!

Today is April Fools Day. Did you get someone good? Did someone get you good?

21 years ago today, someone got me REALLY good. 21 years ago today my youngest child, Timothy David, was born. Time sure flies…

Although we hadn’t planned to have Tim when we did, we had plans to have another child, and hopefully a boy after having had 2 girls. Tim’s Mum had a difficult pregnancy and labour with our second child. She was told not to get pregnant for a couple of years and let her body rest.

We were in the process of moving from the ministry that we serving in Oshawa, Ontario only a few weeks after Sarah was born. It was a stressful time for many reasons. We were packing to head to Calgary for our next, and what would be our last appointment in ministry. That’s where Tim was born on April 1, 1993.

I was coming home from the church office and when I got into the house I could hear my wife crying. So I followed the sounds down to the basement. We had one of those back-split houses where there were actually four levels with about 6 or so steps between each. I was at the second to last level before the basement and asked what was wrong. “I’m pregnant!” Wail….

I slid down that last set of stairs onto my a$$ at the bottom! We were in shock. But we knew that there was a reason (and not the obvious one either-smart Alecs). This was SURPRISE #1.

We finished packing and the movers moved all our stuff. We traveled across country with a colicky baby and a toddler I remember being sick as well. On top of that Mom was starting to feel that wonderful thing called morning sickness; except for her it was usually most of the day sickness. And riding in a small car with us was not pleasant.

Well winter came and went in Calgary (thank God!) and we were busy in our appointment expecting another May baby (same month as Sarah had been). We had taken precautions that this wouldn’t be happening again. I was scheduled for a vasectomy on…you guessed it…April Fools Day. Susan went into labour the day before. Her water had broken and the Doctors were quite sure she could just manage through until the due date if she took it easy. I wasn’t having any of that and demanded that they deliver our child. So this was SURPRISE #2.

Tim was born, blonde, blue – eyed (not the steel-blue of many newborns). Both his Mom and I are brunettes with Hazel and Brown eyes, respectively. The joke was that he was the mailman’s. But the mailman was a woman!!!! This was SURPRISE #3.

Oh, and what about that vasectomy? I managed to escape the blade because of the labour! That was a relief; not a surprise so much.

Although our little blonde and blue-eyed wonder was a surprise for us, he has filled our lives with joy and wonder ever since. Today I pay honour to my son. He stands almost 6 feet tall and has the build of a football player. I’m all of 5’6″ and 150 lbs. Over the years he has been my baby, my son, even my protector. In 2012 we both cruised to Hawaii and then spent 2 ½ days there. I’ll always remember him saying, “That was one for the books.” He was and still is a wonderful companion, friend and son.

We don’t live in the same city anymore. Tim moved to Victoria last year to be closer to his girlfriend, Jacquie. They are great together. It’s hard to imagine this day 21 years ago. I held a rather messy bundle in my arms for the first time and cried. And, silly me, as I type this my eyes are all teary again. I’m proud of you my son. Bless you. Happy Birthday!

April Fools Day-Happy Birthday Tim!