I know, I’ve done it. We all have. I remember when I was a kid I went through that stage where I would tell lies to people like they were facts. My mother was a gifted intuitive who could push through a lie like tissue paper. She would ask me a question, “Why are you late home from school?” I would answer, “I had detention.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know. The teacher was mean!”
“So how did you get home?”
“I walked along the train tracks.”
“That does it! They know that you live far from the damn school. They can’t just keep you after class and not call me. I was worried!!! (Notice the emotional guilt here). “I’m going to call that principal and God help them!”
She knew darn well that I was lying. She picks up the phone and I start crying. The school never did get a call. But I sure got a licken’.
Later I would learn the significance of that small yet painful lesson. I would learn that a lie could not just hurt me, but hurt the very people I love. And it would cause them to lose trust.
I had a person once who lied constantly about what they were doing that was not supposed to be happening. When I’d figure it out my ‘trust metre’ would drop. 100% to 50%. Then if they were lucky it may climb again in time to 60% or even 80%. But then the same old lie happened. The trust metre would drop to 35%. Then over time it may go up again. Then a lie would drive it back down. Each time, trust would be taken away and never come back. Each time, that became more and more. So much so that when the metre broke I terminated that relationship. I will never trust that person again. I can’t even have them anywhere near my life again because, even with forgiveness, trust can never be restored.
You know what I’m talking about. You’ve had it happen. Perhaps you’ve been the victim. Perhaps you’ve been the culprit. We all have.
Lies Hurt Forever
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