Practice The Presence: Practice Joy

Have you ever felt like the joy was gone out of your life?

I get that. I can completely identify. Many of us go through periods of great turmoil. Then at some point when all the stress settles down and we look around we realize that our joy is gone! We haven’t really and truly laughed out loud (lol) in weeks, months or perhaps years. We feel like life is just another thing to do every day. We can put on a happy face but really we don’t enjoy the things we used to. Now Doctors have come to call this depression. If it goes on for more than a certain period of time it is labeled; you are issued a prescription and you move on. Sometimes the prescription is necessary. I know that there have been periods in my life when it was including the period of transition that I have come through over the last three years. But sometimes these medications can numb you so much that a natural part of life – grief, cannot be processed as it was meant to be processed. Other times it actually helps us through the process. I believe that if it’s not numbing you and you are able to work through the process, then by all means, take the meds!!! There is nothing spiritual about suffering.

It was only a few months ago that I was sitting in my morning quiet time and I suddenly realized that all the grief I had been experiencing, feeling and permitting myself to process was done! I was done! But…where I should (I don’t like that word) be feeling joy I just felt, well, nothing. Nothing at all. Usually when we’ve reached that point there is relief and the pain is replaced by joy. Not for me. I was just numb. There was an absence of any emotion. I had been so used to processing all the grief day after day, that I had forgotten what joy felt like. So I began a new journey….

…The journey to find my lost joy. 

I can remember with complete clarity sitting with my journal and asking Spirit to show me the way back to joy. I missed it. I craved it. I deserved it damn it! Now serve it up! I’m being a bit sarcastic now (perhaps too joyful??? – Not!). But I did request. I did start to truly seek out joy. Then I came across an writing (sorry I don’t remember who or which one) that said that joy is to be found in the small moments. What? What on earth does that mean? Joy is BIG, not small. As I found other writers (gurus if you like) I learned something absolutely spectacular.

You see all my life I have thought that I had joy because of my religious beliefs or faith. But I never really did. Oh I’d go along for a while and then the bottom would fall out and I would be stuck again. This time, throughout this long and painful process I didn’t get stuck. Or if I did I had people who cared enough to say I was stuck. It was indeed a process. And now I was learning joy is a process too.

Joy is the moment this morning when I observed a young Mom and Dad with their little tot in his cute little suit falling over his feet because his new shoes were too large. It was that moment when I teased my fellow worker by interrupting her constantly while she was trying to tell a story, frustrating her beyond belief and then us all laughing about it. It was that moment when I sat down to a delicious coffee and my lunch at after 2 pm having not eaten since breakfast at 6:30 am. It was the moment of helping someone load their van. And guess what? All of these small moments added up to a joy-full day!!!

MY TRUTH: I have once again found joy. I find joy in the simple things, the flavours of my food and drink. The quiet moments, like right now when I can write. The long drives in my car listening to a novel. The moments when my dog, Gracie attacks her teddy (totally destuffed now) with ferocity. Yes, I still have moments, like last night when I lost it because I was pushing myself too hard and was over tired. But then I remembered some of the joyful moments in my day and realized that I no longer have terrible, depressing days. I have found my joy.

Practice The Presence: Practice Joy