I made a bit of a direction change in my working life (career if you like) lately. I have started working at a local funeral chapel. I am amazed at the difference in how various cultures grief. I can remember my mother crying by the casket of my father and saying “I look like a fool!”
No one can tell you how, when, how long you should grieve. It is your grief. Whether you are grieving the loss of a job, loved one, friend or friendship, relationship or even your favourite Christmas decoration.
I am amazed that we don’t take the time to grieve anymore! And we wonder why so many need medication to cope. We wonder why so many children end up in ‘reform’ institutions. We wonder why we can’t seem to move forward.
The grief journey is as unique as the person experiencing it. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has given us the five stages of grief:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
But just because she has been so wise as to figure this out, doesn’t mean that we will go through the process in that order, or any order for that matter. We may even visit and revisit one or another once or a few times. The point is just do it! Ignore the nay-sayers and do-gooders. It is your process. Yes, reach out for help, in whatever form, if you need it. Yes, don’t use grief as an excuse to stop living. Yes, don’t get stuck…at least not for long. Yes, grieve!
Heal However
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