Ever Have One of THOSE Days???

Last week I had one of THOSE weeks!!! You know the ones, “Woe is me! I wasted years of my life with someone who didn’t love me back” “Woe is me because of the mountain of debt caused in that relationship and the ensuing divorce and setting up life again.” “Why? I’m so much smarter than all that?” “Woe is me because…blah, blah, blah..”

I hate it when I get into that phase; I really do. It is the most unproductive, unsettling, depressing places to waste all my energies. But I go there at times. So do you right? And if you’re anything like me, not only do you wallow in self pity, you then build a solid case of self-loathing, not just for the subject of your woe but also for allowing yourself to fall into self pity. “How dumb am I? What am I doing allowing this to take over my days and nights? Why can’t I beat this?”

This Jewel helps me to see that those years I loathe myself for weren’t a waste….well at least wisdom says so. But I still go there. And so do you.

So how did I get out of it? Well it took time. In fact it took a few days to get out of it. I was quite run down again due to insomnia. So I slept…A LOT! I didn’t take on any big projects. I forced myself to get out of the apartment to go to the grocery store or to work (even though I wasn’t scheduled) and shared in a glass of champagne and Boston Cream Birthday Cake for a workmate that I truly love. I watched TV a lot. And I slept…more.

We all get periods like this. And when we do we do not need to be beaten up anymore than we already feel. In these times we need to take care of ourselves. Take a hot bath with a glass of wine, if that’s your thing. Sit in the sun. Write. Cry. Pray. Meditate. Get out of the house. Cuddle the dog more than you usually do.

And more than anything else remember those challenges…make you who you are today. Would you rather be someone else? Really? You have no idea what they are truly like. So just be you. Love yourself. Care for yourself. Truly there are no mistakes.

Ever Have One of THOSE Days???

Forgive Others For Your OWN Sake!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I do not forgive others because they should be or have a right to be. I forgive because I desire to have peace in my heart and mind and move forward with my life.

I can remember growing up with The Lord’s Prayer:

…Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…

I had this incorrect thought that God would only forgive me IF I forgave others. It’s a great childhood lesson: Don’t hold grudges! But for me at least, I always believed it wasn’t possible to get forgiveness until I had forgiven all. This is such a cock up! Whatever your concept or name of/for God is, she is not that terrible parent just waiting to slap us silly.

But the real reason for not holding grudges is simply that it doesn’t usually hurt the offender. Grudgery (my word) only hurts the one holding the grudge – me! You know how it goes. I feel hurt. I don’t let it go so it affects everything I do. I am sad, hurt, angry. When I have the same opportunity offered again I won’t go there because I got hurt the last time. I grow more bitter, not better. I grow old and alone.

MY TRUTH: To always (or at least as best as I possibly can) say,

Thank you for-giving me this experience. I have learned something about myself from it.

 

Forgive Others For Your OWN Sake!

Do Unto Others....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaWA2GbcnJU

Do Unto Others....

Forgiveness Prayer

Guess what? I’m not perfect! Did you know that? Seriously though, this jewel shows us as imperfect people. And we are that. We do wrong people. We are selfish and don’t reach out to the needy. We are neglectful.

Now that I’ve depressed you I want to help you feel a bit better. I know I need that too.

Yes I have wronged people along the way. So what can I do about it? Ask for forgiveness. Now realize, sometimes we are truly contrite and ask someone for their forgiveness and they just downright refuse. That’s okay – that’s their right! You have done your part – if you are truly contrite. Walk away. Don’t carry the guilt anymore. Guilt is such a paralyzing emotion. You don’t need it. I don’t need it. So when you feel it, deal with ASAP and then leave it behind or it may leave you behind.

I have helped many people in my life. But I haven’t always helped them as much as I wished I could have. Be careful with that! Guilt is sneaking in again. Don’t let it. I did my best.

I have also neglected people on this journey. At the time I may have thought I had a good reason for doing so. I may have actually had a good reason too. But I am NOT perfect. Sometimes I have fallen short of the mark. Perhaps that day it was all I could give.

I have been helped by so many throughout my life. Some of those folk are no longer part of my life; many aren’t. Some have left this life. Some are still very much part of my life. Even those who have hurt me along the way have actually helped me. They have helped me to know myself better, trust more carefully, learn to forgive, be stronger. I would not be who I am today without so many people in my life.

MY TRUTH: My best today may not be as good as my best yesterday. But it’s still my best. And my best tomorrow may or may not be the same best I put forth today. But it’s still my best. And the best is all anyone can truly expect.

Forgiveness Prayer

Forgiveness Is An Attitude

Why is it all the great men of history had to die so young? Look at it for a moment: Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, JFK and so many others. You may or may not agree with some of any of these being great but that’s okay.

Today we get our jewel of wisdom from Martin Luther King Jr. This is a man who endured much pain and misery because of his skin colour. This is a man who grew up in violence and segregation. Yet he was able to not only forgive others but to constantly live IN forgiveness.

I have used the quote many times in this blog, “Thank you FOR-GIVING-ME this experience”. This is living in the constant attitude of forgiveness.  Sometimes it does get tiresome, this constant badgering of our souls and lives. Sometimes we do find ourselves worn to the bone and feeling sorry for ourselves. That’s okay too. We all deserve the occasion down times. But when we’re done, be done! Get back up and move right back into the attitude of forgiveness.

 

Forgiveness Is An Attitude

Trust Youself To Lead

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=em-uploademail&v=dBMEe9y4T_U

Trust Youself To Lead

Time To Pay It Forward

I am always blessed by random acts of kindness. It restores my faith in people. We sometimes get so caught up in the drama and rush of our day-to-day lives that we forget that there may be a reason for the drama. And even more importantly, that you and I can actually do something about it.

I came across this blog entry on Huffington Post HERE.

It was written by a fellow blogger on her blog HERE. Her Facebook Page is HERE

You can also learn more about Andrea and her family HERE.

I do have permission from Andrea to feature her blog today – just in case you were wondering. Enjoy the read. And remember…

…Pay it forward

 icon-star-o

To the Woman Behind Me in Line at the Grocery Store

 

Posted on March 19, 2014

Dear woman behind me in line at the grocery store,

You don’t know me. You have no clue what my life has been like since October 1, 2013. You have no clue that my family has gone through the wringer. You have no clue that we have faced unbelievable hardship. You have no clue we have been humiliated, humbled, destitute.

You have no clue I have cried more days than not; that I fight against bitterness taking control of my heart. You have no clue that my husband’s pride was shattered. You have no clue my kids have had the worries of an adult on their shoulders. You have no clue their innocence was snatched from them for no good reason. You know none of this.

What you do know is I tried to buy my kids some food and that the EBT machine was down so I couldn’t buy that food. I didn’t have any cash or my debit card with me. I only had my SNAP card. All you heard was me saying “No, don’t hold it for me. My kids are hungry now and I have no other way of paying for this.” You didn’t judge me. You didn’t snarl “Maybe you should have less kids.” You didn’t say “Well, get a job and learn to support yourself.” You didn’t look away in embarrassment or shame for me. You didn’t make any assumptions at all.

What you did was you paid that $17.38 grocery bill for us. You gave my kids bananas, yogurt, apple juice, cheese sticks, and a peach ice tea for me; a rare treat and splurge. You let me hug you and promise through my tears that I WILL pay this forward. I WILL pay someone’s grocery bill for them. That $17.38 may not have been a lot for you, but it was priceless to us. In the car my kids couldn’t stop gushing about you; our “angel in disguise.” They prayed for you. They prayed you would be blessed. You restored some of our lost faith. One simple and small action changed our lives. You probably have forgotten about us by now, but we haven’t forgotten about you. You will forever be a part of us even though we don’t even know your name.

You have no clue how grateful and embarrassed I am that we pay for all our food with SNAP. We eat well thanks to the government. I love that. I love that the government makes sure my kids are cared for. It is one less worry for us. I also struggle with pride and embarrassment. I defiantly tell people we are on SNAP. Daring them to judge us.

Only those closest to us know why we are on SNAP. They know my husband is a hard worker who was laid off after 17 years in a management position with his former company. They know we were moved from our home to a new state only to be left homeless since the house we had came with the job he lost. Only those closest to us know my husband works part-time while looking tirelessly for more; that he has submitted more applications than he has received interviews for. Too many jobs are only offering part-time work anymore. It is not easy for a 40-something year old to find a job that will support his family of 5 kids.

You know none of this but you didn’t let that stop you from being compassionate and generous to someone you have never met.

To the woman behind me at the grocery store, you have no idea how much we appreciate you. You have no idea the impact you had on my kids. You have no idea how incredibly thankful I am for you. Your action may have been small, but to us it was monumental. Thank you.

Thank you for not judging us. Thank you for giving my kids a snack when they were quite hungry. Thank you. Just thank you.

Forever,

Andrea, the woman in front of you at the grocery store with the cart full of kids who are no longer hungry

***UPDATE***

The outpouring of kind words and generosity has been, shall we say, overwhelming. It is in my nature to want to deflect the gifts and offers of support to other deserving people and organizations. Perhaps it can be called pride, but I honestly feel uncomfortable accepting what others seem too willingly to want to give.  I have spoken to those closest to me in my life and they have counseled me greatly.  Each and every one of them asked me to put my “pride” aside and accept the blessings that are being offered.  Each of them have sited the too frequent sleepless and prayerful nights I have had over the challenges my family faces. I have always found peace in the love of my family, the gratitude for the things and people in my life, and the knowledge that God will show me the plan as I need to know.  My confidants have shone the light on the fact that THIS could very well be the answer to those prayers. How beautifully perfect it presents itself by sharing that blessing with thousands of people all across the world! The singular act of that kind woman in the grocery store has created a ripple effect that I am certain no one could have ever predicted. As a result, my own personal prayers are being addressed as well. Giving me (and countless others!) the opportunity to continue paying it forward.

I have set up a PayPal donation site. It is not in the spirit of assumption but of pure gratitude that I do this. I, and my family, thank you from the very bottom of our hearts. We will pay it forward many times over and never forget the generosity you have shown.

Lend a Hand

PS for those inquiring about where to send items we have a PO Box set up

Andrea and her family. Photo: True Stories of a Midwest Yankee

PO Box 101

Oakland City, IN 47660–

~Andrea AKA A Midwest YankeeCHALLENGE: Over the next few days make a commitment to reach out and help someone. Don’t do if for accolades. Don’t do it because I challenged you. Do it…just because. I promise your selflessness will be worth it, not only to that person, but to yourself.

Time To Pay It Forward

Healing Damage

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Healing Damage

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

It’s not easy in our day and age to create what Dr. Northrup is talking about. We get so wound up in the drama that surrounds us. We even think it’s the right thing to do. We think we are helping others if we get as upset as they. We believe that without us that loved one would fall flat on their face. This is actually referred to as codependence. And codependence is actually a form of narcissism.  We hold this belief that “they need me” or “they will be so hurt if I walk away.” But in reality it’s really all about me when I say that. Look at it again. “They need ME,” and “They will be so hurt if I walk away. It really is about ME. Can you see it now?

Because we choose to live like Jesus we then develop, not only the Saviour Complex, we also become martyrs, miserable, hard done by, resentful and even contributing to the abusive cycle we may be in with someone. This again is called codependence. Believe me, I know. I’ve been there and done that and have MANY t-shirts to show for it. I am a recovering codependent. I admit it. I hope and pray that I have learned to let go of drama and change my beliefs and behaviours. And guess what? I’m starting to see the clouds clear. It has taken three years. But then again it took a lifetime of being a codependent to cause the sadness in my life.

What about you? Do you chose drama? Being a Saviour? Being a codependent? If you see yourself in this, and even if you don’t I highly recommend a book by Melody Beattie called Codependent No More! It literally saved my life.

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

Broken Yet Believing

Life can really suck sometimes, can’t it? Right!?! Sometimes by the time we get to the front of the line the till closes! Sometimes sh&* happens! It’s true! It’s just the natural order of things.

A number of years ago I remember coming across a Guru (sorry I don’t remember who). He was interviewing this poor woman. She had had a terrible time. Her life was just a catastrophe. And when it wasn’t it was just waiting to be a catastrophe!

I remember watching the two of them. She was crying her life was so terrible. She had been truly and deeply broken. He listened intently. You could see the compassion in him. You could see that she was really showing him how hard her life had been up to this point. Then she was finished.

“So what!”

You would have thought a wind storm had hit with the sound of the collective gasps!

Boy did we read him wrong! He’s an ass! People were in shock. But no one could speak. She looked at her compassionate listener and all the blood had drained from her face. The tears had stopped alright. But not because she was feeling better. If anything she was now in shock; yet another blow, another heart crushing moment.

He then said something like, “You’ve had a terrible time of it (Janet). Life has really been challenging for you. In fact I can honestly say you’ve really been through some real sh*!. So what!”

And there it was again!

“You’ve had a terrible past. It has been painful. But it’s in the past. You’ve now told your story with all it’s emotion and pain. Good! That’s it! It’s all yesterday’s news now! So what…now? Is your life terrible right here, right now? Haven’t you been enjoying this weekend? You’ve made new friends who’ve listened to your pain. So what do you plan to be now….tomorrow…next week…next year? Are you going to let all that crap dictate to you? Are you going to be a victim? You are a bright woman. You are beautiful, smart, educated. The past is behind you. It’s not beside you and you certainly don’t need it in front of you. Look in front of you. Do it now? What do you see?”

Blank face.

“Exactly….nothing. There is absolutely NO  THING in front of you. The future is clear. So all that stuff you just told me is just ‘so what’. It means nothing unless you allow it to; allow it to control you and your destiny. So what? What do you want to be? What do you want to see? What are you capable of? So what?”

I got it! In that moment many of us got it! Sometimes life is challenging. Sometimes life is painful. Sometimes it’s downright sh*!!y! SO WHAT!? What now? What can I do with now, tomorrow, next week? And why on earth would I want to drag all of that stuff with me?

Yes the mind is a wonderful thing. It truly is (except when I can’t find my reading glasses or keys). It is the most magnificent computer ever created. But yet, sometimes the mind is downright stupid! We go through pain and then instead of letting it go (and I know we sometimes need time to deal with pain, it’s called grieving…not wallowing though) the mind keeps it right there in front of us. Aghhhh!

A few days ago I was out with Gracie the wonder wiener dog. She is not always the most social of butterflies. In fact she can be downright aggressive. I hope that one day I’ll figure it out of her. Maybe not. So what, right! Well, anyhow, I was out with her and she had one of her spaz attacks and went ballistic at a person across the street. I hollered and she settled back to ‘normal’ (whatever that is). Then she did something. She shook herself. She shook off the aggression. The hair on her back went flat again and she went on sniffing for whatever dogs sniff for. It was over; done…finished!

MY TRUTH: Spirit make me an instrument of your LOVE. When I have been hurt. When I have been really hurt. When I have been devastated…help me to get to that point of saying “So what!” and move on, shake it off…love again. It doesn’t have to be a lover. It may be a workmate or a friend or a family member. Take my broken heart and make me something better.

Broken Yet Believing

An Amazing April Fool's Prank...Best Ever!

This Waitress Becomes The Victim

Of A Life Changing Prank

 

Meet Chelsea Roff. An average waitress who raised her sister alone from a very young age, suffered from an eating disorder (weighing only 58 pounds at one point of time) and runs a non profit yoga clinic to help people suffering from the former. Her friends and colleagues step in to trap her in this amazing April fools prank.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2zUf06iy1A

For the full website SHAREDOTS go here

An Amazing April Fool's Prank...Best Ever!

Little Things Are Big Things

Remember when Grandma made you chocolate cake when you had a cold? Remember when you had a friend who just sat with you when you were not in a talking mood? Remember when you did these things? Well do them again. Do them often.

It’s the small acts of kindness that make the biggest impact. It’s the smallest gesture of goodness that makes the biggest impression. What happened to the day when you held open the door for a lady? What about doing it for a guy? What happened to giving up the seat on the bus for the little old lady? What about doing it for the healthy girl or guy?

TODAY’S ASSIGNMENT: In some small way…make a HUGE impact!

 

Little Things Are Big Things

Courage

Isn’t this a wonderful jewel? I used to be an A-Type personality. I used to be a rather impatient person, especially with myself, but with others too. I used to be a conqueror not an encourager. I used to try to push, push, push.

I’m not sure when it happened. But somewhere between 10 and 40 I began to be conscious of what damage I was doing to myself and others when I pushed to hard. I began to realize that you can’t push the river because the river will push back…harder…and probably win. I realized that a snail can only move at a snail’s pace. I began to realize that we all have moments, days, periods, in our lives when we are ALL turtles struggling to get off the beach into the safety of the water.

Plato was a wise man! Wow! What an insight right?! Not really. We all already knew that.

TODAY’S ASSIGNMENT: No this isn’t a push thing. It’s an observation and compassion thing. Notice someone who is doing their best to be all that they can be and encourage them. Notice someone who is judging themselves for not meeting someone else’s or their own expectations and help them to see that they can only be expected to do their best. And today’s best may well look different from yesterday’s best or tomorrow’s best. Be and encourager, not a pusher today.

 

Courage

Every Soul Is A Mirror

I’ve heard it said over and over again that relationships are about learning or that relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Over the last few years I have done a lot of study and work around relationships; the mystery of, the joy of, the reasons for, good ones, not so good ones, ‘failed’ ones, and so on.

But what I have experienced as my truth is that I learn from every relationship I have, whether that be a businesses relationship, acquaintance, friendship, intimate (even though I haven’t had one of those in a long time now), and even my children. Oh and let’s not forget animals too.

I have learned that often times we seem to be attracted to the antithesis (big word? = opposite) of what we’d expect or are. Why is this? Well they say that opposites attract. And to a certain extent that can be true. But often a quite person is attracted to a more outgoing person because they wish to experience that outgoing-ness in a safe relationship. Sometimes he may want her to draw him out so that he can be more fun.

Sometimes we are drawn to abusive types too. This used to be a conundrum for me. I think I understand it now. I can lay all kind of layers of psycho-babble to it. But simply put, we are drawn to abusive people because we often have that as a disowned self. For more on disowned selves I recommend any reading by Doctors Hall and Sidra Stone (Wikipedia Link, their website, Amazon). They have written a great deal of material around this subject and how it relates to relationships as well. Excellent Reading!

When we become aware of the various parts of our own psyche we can integrate them into ourselves and own them all. We then become more balanced and when we enter into any relationship we then can realize and see ourselves in other people and learn from that. We can also become so much more compassionate about other people and their shortcomings because we feel safe admitting that deep down we know we have shortcomings to…perhaps even the same ones.

Being a parent is the best classroom someone can ever be in, I think. I have learned so much from my kids. They have taught me patience (after many, many temper tantrums…and I don’t mean theirs). They have taught me unconditional love. They have taught me the value of discipline (I don’t mean the corporal type I mean self-discipline). They have taught me to be strong, to rely on them and others when the need be.

MY TRUTH: I hope one day to have another chance at an intimate relationship too. There is so much I want to do differently. But more than that, I hope to one day have that safe place where learning about self and someone close it wonderful and supportive and ongoing. But for now, every time I look at someone else instead of projecting myself onto them I try to see them as a mirror of my own soul.

 

Every Soul Is A Mirror

Stop The Bullying!

Everyone’s Been Bullied. Not Everyone Responds Like This 15-Year-Old Girl.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQrCti-hqu0#t=125

- See more at: http://onevoice.net.nz/#sthash.WTmgyjPD.M55ZGIJP.dpuf

Stop The Bullying!

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

I like Deepak! He has come to this time in our history for a reason. He, in my opinion, is a modern-day prophet. He has written so much, done so much to raise the consciousness of this planet. Yes there are others, many others. I’m not denying that. In fact I love many different prophets. Another prophet has said it like this: Don’t make assumptions. Can you place who it is? That’s right, Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s been many years since I started reading The Four Agreements. I read it at least once a year.

I love to sit in a mall or in a park and watch people. Don’t you? It’s fun. I sit and enjoy watching people having fun and just hanging out. I also like to create little stories about them.

O look at the lady in blue. Her hair looks like it came through a wind tunnel. That dress, barely hanging out of the bottom of her blue coat, looks like she slept in it. And look at that! Has she got puke on her back? What a mess she is!!! 

Then along comes three wonderful little bundles of joy. Triplets! They can’t be more than 5 or 6! And whose that? OMG!!!! Is that her partner??? He’s got another kid! No actually it’s a baby!

She’s a saint!!!

I sure changed my story. Mr. Judgey my daughter would call me. But we do it don’t we?

The same happens when someone says something the wrong way. We judge them. Bitch! 

And when a client doesn’t show up for an appointment. Well that’s considerate! My time is valuable!

But what we don’t know, and can’t possibly know, is what’s going on behind the face, the words, the missing person.

And even if the person is being a jerk or inconsiderate, they are only doing what they can at this point in their journey. Remember, you haven’t always been perfect you know!

MY TRUTH: It is my daily prayer that I be compassionate, understanding, caring, non-judgmental. I’m not always doing it. I’m not always even trying to do it. Forgive me for when I judge. Forgive me if I’ve judged you. Forgive me for not being as kind and compassionate as I desire to be.

 

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

Celebrate The Little Things

I love Snoopy! He is my favourite Beagle! I like the other characters just fine, but Snoopy…. He’s my hero!

I used to be a very driven, A-Type personality. I have had 2 breakdowns, maybe even three. I’ve burned out at work more often than I care to admit. I’ve caused my body to rebel and shut down. I live with pain daily, probably because of this very behaviour.

Somewhere along the way in all my driven-ness, I forgot about Snoopy. I forgot to celebrate the little things. I forgot that when the world seems to be crashing down all around me that there are still little things to celebrate. Yes there are.

Every night before I go to sleep I write in my Gratitude Journal. Some days are hard and painful to get through. But I can still be grateful. In fact I have learned that when I am grateful for everything even the rough patches, that there are more good times ahead. When I keep myself in the attitude of gratitude it gets easier.

So here’s an entry from my journal:

• I am grateful for a pillow to lay down my very sore neck.


• I am grateful for the soreness in my body. It’s trying to remind me to slow down a bit.


• I am grateful for my kids.


• I am grateful for my wee apartment.

I usually list 10 or more. And yes I even include the lousy things that happened in my day. Why? Because there’s always someone, somewhere, having it harder than me. Because I am still above ground and can actually experience my life. Now it would be foolish to be thankful for terrible events. If a child dies am I thankful? Certainly not!!! Let’s not be foolish. But in time, I may become grateful for the events surrounding that tragedy. I may have acquired new friends. I may have been able to help others through their pain because I’d been there. So yes, I can be grateful, even in the midst of pain.

Try it!

 

Celebrate The Little Things

April Fools Day-Happy Birthday Tim!

Today is April Fools Day. Did you get someone good? Did someone get you good?

21 years ago today, someone got me REALLY good. 21 years ago today my youngest child, Timothy David, was born. Time sure flies…

Although we hadn’t planned to have Tim when we did, we had plans to have another child, and hopefully a boy after having had 2 girls. Tim’s Mum had a difficult pregnancy and labour with our second child. She was told not to get pregnant for a couple of years and let her body rest.

We were in the process of moving from the ministry that we serving in Oshawa, Ontario only a few weeks after Sarah was born. It was a stressful time for many reasons. We were packing to head to Calgary for our next, and what would be our last appointment in ministry. That’s where Tim was born on April 1, 1993.

I was coming home from the church office and when I got into the house I could hear my wife crying. So I followed the sounds down to the basement. We had one of those back-split houses where there were actually four levels with about 6 or so steps between each. I was at the second to last level before the basement and asked what was wrong. “I’m pregnant!” Wail….

I slid down that last set of stairs onto my a$$ at the bottom! We were in shock. But we knew that there was a reason (and not the obvious one either-smart Alecs). This was SURPRISE #1.

We finished packing and the movers moved all our stuff. We traveled across country with a colicky baby and a toddler I remember being sick as well. On top of that Mom was starting to feel that wonderful thing called morning sickness; except for her it was usually most of the day sickness. And riding in a small car with us was not pleasant.

Well winter came and went in Calgary (thank God!) and we were busy in our appointment expecting another May baby (same month as Sarah had been). We had taken precautions that this wouldn’t be happening again. I was scheduled for a vasectomy on…you guessed it…April Fools Day. Susan went into labour the day before. Her water had broken and the Doctors were quite sure she could just manage through until the due date if she took it easy. I wasn’t having any of that and demanded that they deliver our child. So this was SURPRISE #2.

Tim was born, blonde, blue – eyed (not the steel-blue of many newborns). Both his Mom and I are brunettes with Hazel and Brown eyes, respectively. The joke was that he was the mailman’s. But the mailman was a woman!!!! This was SURPRISE #3.

Oh, and what about that vasectomy? I managed to escape the blade because of the labour! That was a relief; not a surprise so much.

Although our little blonde and blue-eyed wonder was a surprise for us, he has filled our lives with joy and wonder ever since. Today I pay honour to my son. He stands almost 6 feet tall and has the build of a football player. I’m all of 5’6″ and 150 lbs. Over the years he has been my baby, my son, even my protector. In 2012 we both cruised to Hawaii and then spent 2 ½ days there. I’ll always remember him saying, “That was one for the books.” He was and still is a wonderful companion, friend and son.

We don’t live in the same city anymore. Tim moved to Victoria last year to be closer to his girlfriend, Jacquie. They are great together. It’s hard to imagine this day 21 years ago. I held a rather messy bundle in my arms for the first time and cried. And, silly me, as I type this my eyes are all teary again. I’m proud of you my son. Bless you. Happy Birthday!

April Fools Day-Happy Birthday Tim!