Treasure Every Moment

Today I am up early. It was 6:30 when my inner alarm clock went off. I woke, felt rested, perhaps truly so for the first time in about a week. I got up, made my coffee, too weak; added more coffee to it and had all my breakfast nibs and bits and sat down to my daily quiet time.

Dad-Early 1970′s

Then I realized, it’s Dad’s birthday today. He would be 99!!!!…if he’d lived this long. They say that although the pain of grieving a death of a loved one goes away, you never stop missing them. For me, it’s true. Anyone in my life that I’ve grieved, either through death, divorce, endings is and always will be, missed. Why is that? The truth is because they made an impression on me. They contributed to my life in some significant way, even if it seemed insignificant to them.

So the lesson for me has always been not just to be grateful, but to treasure…and I don’t mean like a pirate – bury it! I am grateful for every person who has been in my life. Yes, even those, if not especially those, who’ve brought real pain to my life. Because without them, today, I would not be half the man I am. Not only have I learned to be grateful for each person; I have learned to treasure them in the moments we have together.

I grew up in a home that would be considered to be somewhat happy. But I was not a happy child. I grew up with parents who seemed to truly dislike each other. They tolerated each other at the best of times. They lived under the same roof, but slept separately, my father in the master bedroom, my mother on an outdoor lounger in the basement. For more than ten years of my life she chose to have no bedroom.

Aunt Irene (Dad’s Sister who lived with us), my big bro Brian, my Dad, and me. Early 1970′s

I grew up in a home where my parents often communicated, using that term lightly, through notes and letters left on the table or given to us as couriers. It was NOT an ideal life. But then again, doesn’t every family have it’s dysfunctions? I believe, yes. Were we The Waltons? Certainly not! Was it all bad? Not at all. I can remember times around the supper table where laughter dominated over the blue cloud of cigarette smoke. I can remember times when my big brother and my mother would have me laughing hysterically in tears on the floor. I was an unhappy child, yes. But I’ve learned that continual unhappiness is a choice. I now choose to be happy…joyful. Sometimes there is unhappiness. But I refuse to allow it to permeate and destroy my joy!

I also look at other people who have come and gone. Some did only bring pain. Some brought a mixture. But all have contributed to who I am today. I treasure the moments of joy I had with them all. I am grateful for the painful moments too.

Dad-early 1980′s

My Truth: In the last few years I have come to realize that friendships, relationship of any kind, ebb and flow – like the tides of the ocean. We crave for the flow to be more constant, more sustained; sometimes it is granted that way. But at other times it ebbs and the tide never comes back the same or at all. I have learned that it is so important to treasure every moment. 

Treasure Every Moment