Be A Priority

 

Having been in a long term relationship where I was the option while they were my priority I get it. This has all the makings of being codependent. And yes I realized that was me too. Reading Melody Beattie’s book, Codependent No More my life changed forever. Now I am no one’s option. What about you???

Be A Priority

Etiquette 101-Conference Calls

For the Reader’s Information: We will be using our initials for these conversations we have so, Lynne Brown (LB) and James Latour (JL). (LB) Have you been on a conference call lately? Did you go away wondering what just happened? That’s not an uncommon reaction to the experience of conference calls. I used to work with an organization that had a regional Board and so the use of conference calls was pretty standard for Board meetings. The first few calls were awful. We did get better and that’s when these rules were adopted.

1. If you are the host, call in about 5 minutes early. This will reassure the early bird callers that they are in the right place. It will also give you time to resolve a glitch if there is one. (JL) I was taught that it is always better to wait for someone else than for them to wait for you. It is honouring and shows professional courtesy. If you show that you are not willing to be late, you show that you value the other people you are working with.
2. As Chair/Facilitator, identify who is present in the room for those calling in. Request those calling in to identify themselves. (JL) I know that Lynne would mean this for smaller groups. But many coaches are using conference calling as seminars. So identifying each person may not be possible. So it may only be appropriate to identify the leaders of the call in this situation.
3. Request that people identify themselves each time they speak. This is particularly important for people with hearing loss issues. (JL) This is also important if there is someone taking the minutes. It also shouldn’t be assumed that everyone will recognize the voice of the speaker.
4. Be sure that everyone gets equal time in the discussion. Remember those who are calling in. Writing the names down and referring to it will help with that.
5. If you are taking a vote, do it by voice not a show of hands. Seems obvious but habits are strong.
6. Much of what we say is conveyed by our facial expression and body language, so listen carefully for the tone of what is being said by those calling in. (JL) As was already expressed in our Social Media Series too many assumptions can be made with a simple sentence. This doesn’t only occur with writing (Social Media). This also occurs with phone calls/conference calls. So if you are in doubt ASK..do not ASSUME. Remember what ASSUME is. You make an A$$ of U amp; Me. Avoid this.
7. All of this works better if you invest in the technology and have a conference phone, not just everyone gathered around a speaker phone. (JL) Many cell phones and their plans have conference calling as a paid or included package feature. I can call person A and put them on hold; call person B and bring back person A. This is a good way of working too. There are so many excellent and economical (not cheap) products out there that we really do not have to gather around the phone anymore. You can Google and find many providers, software (Skype, Google, GoToMeeting, and more) and hardware manufactured by most teleconferencing/telephone companies. Costs of software and hardware vary as do their usage plans. The best way to see what will suit your needs is to ask someone you know who uses conference calling about their experience with their product.

James Latour is the owner & coach of JLP Solutions & writer on Life's Roller Coaster. James has over 25 years of experience working with the profit & not-for-profit sectors in project management, human resources, fundraising & volunteerism & industry – related consulting. He's known for his team approach & follow through. If you are looking for an enthusiastic coach/consultant who walks the walk & talks the talk, you’ve found him. James has turned his passion, writing, into a blog & is using his talent in more direct ways.

Lynne Brown is the owner and coach of Orca Coaching & Consulting. Lynne Brown has been a coach and mentor for the last 30 years. She has a passion for working with people by empowering them to achieve their dreams and set realistic and attainable goals. Lynne has high energy as well as a positive and empathetic approach. Lynne is a firm believer that one of the purposes in life is to have fun and she incorporates that into her coaching and consulting.

Etiquette 101-Conference Calls

Be Yourself

 

We live in a world that is constantly telling us that we must look prettier, be thinner, act smarter, have more, be more. Just be YOU!

Be Yourself

Resting Is How We Heal

“Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing. When animals in the forest are wounded they find a place to lie down and rest completely for many days…They just rest, and get the healing they need.”

-Thick Nhat Hanh

Sometimes we get hurt! Sometimes life sucks! That’s just the way it is. Admit it. Don’t deny it. When I am feeling hurt, sad, angry or other negative emotions (see blog: Positive & Negative) I admit it – out loud! I let the Universe know that I am in that place. That’s okay. It’s actually very healing. That doesn’t mean that I stay stuck in that emotion. It just acknowledges that part of me that feels. I am NOT that emotion. It helps me to get perspective so that I can then focus on what I do want to feel. It also can teach me a lesson that will keep me from feeling that again in that circumstance…or not.
Once upon a time I didn’t do this. I grew up in a home where I was taught to “pull up your bootstraps” (whatever that means), or “stop crying/whining/pouting or I’ll give you something to cry/whine/pout about”. This was a very subversive and manipulative reconditioning of the real child that I was.
When we are very young we have no problem crying for food, clean diaper or when hurt. But somewhere along the way society has taught us to not wear our emotions on our sleeve. How daft! Even conservative religion teaches us that martyrdom is an honour. We should wear it proudly and with a smile. When someone is diagnosed with something like cancer they should fight, put their trust in a Higher Power, and smile, smile, smile. Poppycock!
Whether we call him/her our God, Goddess, Higher Power, Creator, Spirit, etc…, we recognize that we are created whole. As part of that whole we have a body that needs care, gets sick, gets tired. We have a soul/spirit/essence that holds great wisdom and connection to the Universe. We have a mind that thinks, feels, creates. That is what we call living wholly or holy.

My Truth: So what do I need to do when I feel something negative? I recognize it, accept it for what it is. I examine what is going on for me. Once I realize what the cause is I can deal with it and move on. Not by wallowing in pity, no. But by resting in it and taking the time to heal. Denial is never helpful, it just delays healing. I remember that although I feel this emotion, I am not this emotion.

Your Truth: Do you run the river De-Nial through your life when it comes to your feelings? Have you been affected by those who taught us to pull up our bootstraps? Take some time and write it out. Then burn it. Then forgive and release it. Now, gently, allow yourself to be real. If you find yourself getting stuck in the old patterns again, forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up.


Resting Is How We Heal

People Are Just Like Music...

People Are Just Like Music...

Less is More

“Doing less meaningless work, so that you can focus on things of greater personal importance, is NOT laziness.”
I came across this quote recently. Timothy Ferriss is an American author, entrepreneur, and public speaker, best known for his 2007 book The 4-Hour Workweek. I often have more than one “book” on the go. I have a Kindle and the Kindle App for various devices. I have Audible on various devices. I do have real books too. I also use the internet for reading and research.
I like Audible because it allows me to listen to books when I am driving, walking, exercising (not enough of that it seems),  just laying in the sun or drifting off to sleep. I have read some amazing stuff using this app. I like Kindle too. I like it because it keeps down the amount of clutter around the house. It also makes packing up and moving my library so much easier and lighter – not to mention the ½ dozen books that I need to pack for vacation! I also like Kindle because it saves a few trees here and there. I like to feel that I’m doing my part to keep our planet alive and healthy for future generations. There are a ton of similar devices  and applications out there. It’s just a matter of choosing which one(s) work for you. I also sometimes like real books (Blog: What is it about books?) because I like to hold them, smell them (no not in a kinky way), scribble notes in them, see the illustrations and photos in them, and display them.
Now where was I? Oh yes, less is more. If you’ve ever done the personality inventory called True Colours (or Colors for my American friends) you will know that the colour that is usually the busiest, most organized, workaholic type, is GOLD. I’m a Gold/Blue 50/50 mix. Blue addresses emotions and spirituality. (More about the individual colours here.)
There are a ton of other personality inventories out there. I tend to return to this one because it’s so simple. Another one that I do like is Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath. He now has a follow up book called Strengths Based Leadership, which I must get and read. You take an assessment that will give you your top five Strengths. Mine are Connectedness, Empathy, Intellection, Arranger, and Relator. In short I’m a doer! At least that’s the way I used to see myself. Now I have come to see myself as a creator. I have always found myself frustrated by my busyness. I would end my day exhausted and wonder what I’ve accomplished or truly completed. Now I seek out projects and work that help me create; projects that are purposeful. Yes, sometimes that causes me to be busy, too. But busyness isn’t my focus anymore. Creation sometimes means sitting/thinking and dreaming/planning. Sometimes it means employing others as part of a team with skills and gifts that I don’t have . Sometimes, to someone else, it looks like I’m doing something meaningless. But it is meaningful, to me, because it’s important to what I’m creating.
My Truth: I am learning to quieten both other’s and my own judgements around my way of creating and accomplishing what I desire. I am learning that dreaming/planning/introspection is part of a process that gives me joy and peace –>> creation.
Less is More

Be Real

Be Real

Business Etiquette

For the Reader’s Information: We will be using our initials for this conversations we have so, Lynne Brown (LB) and James Latour (JL).

(LB) James and I had so much fun collaborating on the social media series that we decided to do another set. This time, we are focusing on what we will call Business Etiquette or as I like to think of it, simple techniques to make work life easier. What got me thinking about this topic was a comment made by a friend’s 25-year-old daughter: “Manners,” she said, “are passé ” At this point she picked up her soup bowl and began to leisurely eat their meal. I was a bit surprised and it got me thinking. (LB) When I was about 12 years old, I was doing my usual search for my mother’s Christmas present list. I found it and beside my name I found: etiquette book. I was completely chagrined. As it turns out, Mom knew about my nosey nature and had written that to put me off. Still, as a joke she bought me Amy Vanderbilt’s Guide To Etiquette. Because I had to read everything I could lay my hands on, I read it. Years later, I am astounded at how often the knowledge from that book has helped me out. No, I am not talking about how to set a table with the appropriate decor, I am talking about things like how to correctly introduce people to one another. That one seems less important in our culture and yet in the international business world it has a high degree of importance.
(LB) So, over the next few blog postings we will look at things like how to participate in and facilitate conference and SKYPE calls and other forms of technological software.
(JL) Some of this will cross over into the first part of our joint dialogue because many businesses now use social media to communicate. (JL) To most people business etiquette is as plain as the nose on your face stuff. However, there is a generation up and coming that haven’t a clue! This new generation will one day be running our Fortune 500 companies, governments, schools and more. This generation really does have an obligation to mentor and coach the next in what is acceptable business etiquette and what is not. We are going to do our best to take some of that responsibility on in this next series of blog posts. I hope you enjoy it. If you have any questions or want us to cover a certain topic (or soap box) then let us know either by email or in the comments below. We can only be as helpful as your input. We appreciate all of our readers.

Lynne Brown is the owner and coach of www.OrcaCoachingConsulting.com. Lynne Brown has been a coach and mentor for the last 30 years. She has a passion for working with people by empowering them to achieve their dreams and set realistic and attainable goals. Lynne has high energy as well as a positive and empathetic approach. Lynne is a firm believer that one of the purposes in life is to have fun and she incorporates that into her coaching and consulting.

James Latour is the owner and coach of www.JLPSolutions.ca and writer on www.LifesRollerCoaster.com. James has over 25 years of experience working with the profit and not-for-profit sectors in with project management, human resources, fundraising and volunteerism and industry – related consulting. He is known for his team approach and follow through. If you are looking for an enthusiastic coach/consultant who walks the walk and talks the talk, you’ve found him. Recently James has turned his passion, writing, into a blog and is using his talent in more direct ways.
Business Etiquette

Dreams Do Come True

Dreams Do Come True

Healing: What is it really?

I am reading a great book right now called Dr. Judith Orloff’s Guide to Intuitive Healing: 5 Steps to Physical, Emotional and Sexual Wellness. 

For many years I have grappled with the concept of healing probably because I have a lifetime of health challenges and have lived with chronic pain for about thirty years of this life. I have heard many spiritual people tell me, in subtle and not so subtle ways, that I have created/manifested/ chosen to be unhealthy and that I can choose to be healed. I have done everything from praying to Jesus/God to doing the alternative and modern medicine. I have carried with me the burden of guilt because for some reason I don’t measure up. I am not spiritual enough, good enough. Guilt, in its own way can cause a great deal of health issues ranging from the physical to the mental. In fact carrying any emotion, whether it be positive or negative [Blog by this title here] has an effect on our wholeness. 

So if someone lost a leg in an accident, does that mean that they are not spiritual enough? If a baby is born with, or a young child develops a terrible illness such as cancer, does that mean that they are not spiritual enough? Does a baby have the wherewithal to cause a physical illness or choose for it to go away? Perhaps. If we believe that the soul carries with it the wisdom of the ages, then yes. But does the mind always perceive the wisdom of the soul? No. 

So this all led me down the path of inquiry. Am I less than the person who has manifested physical healing in their lives? Or better still someone who is never ill? Am I missing something in my journey? Or is it just possible that I have chosen this life and all its challenges, whether it be bodily health or circumstances, to experience it and know it and possibly learn from it? And is it possible that one day I will manifest that my back will no longer be painful? 

To the first inquiry, no. I am no less spiritual than the other. We are all here to experience life with all the challenges we face. Some of the souls of the past have chosen to be dictators, murderers, lovers, healers. They/we are all on a spiritual path. No one is better. No one is at a different level either. That just smacks of pride. We are all on parallel paths that affect everyone else and cause each to experience just what they agreed to. 

To the second inquiry, again no. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Neal Donald Walsh in his best-selling series Conversations with God says that we are not broken and don’t need to be fixed. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. There is nothing wrong with any of us. 

To the third inquiry, yes. I am experiencing everything I came here to experience. 

To the fourth inquiry, and all similar, yes. It is possible to experience healing on a physical level. But the work always, first and foremost is deeper than that. Just look at the people of this world who accomplish great things and are disabled (by the way I do not like that word at all). There are just so many. Just look at the people of the world who have gone before us, inventors, scientists, artists, poets, singers, actors. They say that we all must be a little mad to be truly creative and present to this world. Some of these people in history have lived their lives with real challenges to health and circumstance, yet they accomplished so much and have caused the world to be a different/better place. They were able to experience true healing despite their bodies from regular Joe’s to Presidents!

My Truth: I have let go of the guilt and shame that others have foisted upon me. I will not wear it. I will not accept their opinion as my reality. Besides judgement always comes from within, “I am not acceptable so therefore I must shine an unacceptable light on someone else to cause people to look at them and not me.” I am learning that true healing begins and ends with the soul. Often times this will result in the physical healing, sometimes relief, sometimes the experience I chose before I came here will be the very illness that I carry. Why? Because in it and through it I AM made whole.

Your Truth: Have you, like me, struggled with this guilt or shame because your body just doesn’t do what others feel it should? Have you been held back because of that perception? Is it possible that your healing will come through the illness and not from it? I’d be interested to hear from you. Healing: What is it really?

The Real Hero Here!

Sometimes when parenting seems difficult or our lot in life, in general, seems difficult remember this:

The REAL hero here!

Surround Yourself With Dreamers...

It really takes no effort to surround ourselves with nay-Sayers. They are a dime a dozen. But to surround ourselves with people who have an elevated vibration is of huge benefit to us…to them…to the world!

Surround Yourself With Dreamers...

Positive or Negative?

We live in a world that perceives these two polar opposites as good and bad, light and darkness. We see the latter of those polars as wrong, evil, unwanted. We even do all we can to hit the CNTRL ALT DELETE buttons to get rid of them and reboot our minds. Why is that? Is having negative really a bad thing?
Let’s take a look at electricity. In order for it to work you must have a positive and negative charge. What about the compass? You have to have North to get South, East to get West. A twenty-four hour period (most of the time in most of the world) must have light and darkness. Yin and Yang. Even religion teaches that there is both good and evil.
So why is it that we see these negative opposites as something we need to be rid of? It’s only in the last few years that I became aware of this conundrum in my own life. I was always so intent on focussing on causing the positive in my life that I forgot that Universal Law demands the opposites. For every action there is a re-action.
Let’s look at one more example of polar opposites. It’s kind of ‘nasty’ (according to whom?) but nonetheless pertinent: We eat. We eat whole, tasty, wonderful foods (well usually). When we eat it is turned to energy, fat, goodness for the body to stay healthy. Then we pass it out of the body. We see that result of digestion as nasty or negative. But it is just how it works. That’s how electricity works. That’s how life works. Sometimes we must have that negative situation in our lives to get perspective. We always must have the negative in order to compare it to what the positive is; what we really desire to have in our lives. In this way we can then choose to not focus on the negative, even though we are aware of its presence, but to focus on the positive thing we desire.
In fact, if we really get down to brass tacks, we can then be thankful for the negatives in our lives so that we may then know what the positive is and create it.
As the subtitle of this blog suggests, this blog is about the roller coaster of life. The ups, downs, screams, laughs. As such I realize that I have to be truly in my integrity and share not only the positive, but also the negative in my life. So here I go. Over the last few years I have noticed a huge change in my health. I know it won’t always be this way; it just isI right now. Over the last few months I have not been able to really work a steady job because of my health challenges. I have had moments of deep frustration because of this. I have also had a ton of stress, too, because that means I have had to learn to live on either no or very limited finances. It means that I have debt collectors calling me on a consistent basis too. I have had to weigh in on my integrity and realize that this is not a choice; it is just what is for now.
I am only now beginning to see that this time of ‘ill’ health is, yes, a negative; but doesn’t need to consume me. I have learned to be honest about my feelings around it. I have also learned to be honest with friends, family, clients and even creditors about it. I have learned, and am still learning (sometimes moment by moment) to trust in the process. I have learned that my health is not me. It is just what is happening at the moment to me. I have learned that I do not desire this negative experience, yet I am (usually) grateful for it. WHAT??? Yes, I am. It helps me see what I do desire – optimal health, the ability to be able to ‘show up’ to work, the ability (and gift it is) to have a steady income and enjoy some of the perks in life. In fact as I type this entry it is after 5 am and I’ve only managed one hour of sleep tonight, have been in a great deal of pain, and know that I have a very important appointment in the afternoon (which can add to the insomnia because I know I need to sleep). Yet I will trust.
My Truth: Every day I encounter negative things; sickness, bad news, bills, sadness, etc… Each one of these is a real gift from the Universe. Each one of these truly helps me to see and focus on the positive things already present or that which I desire to create in life; the things that bring me health, wealth, a home, joy. So when these situations come I can acknowledge them because they help me on my journey. I am grateful for both the negative and positive.
Your Truth: What trials are you facing in your life right now? Can you see that they will help you create what you truly desire? Are you able to (even only for a few moments) be grateful for them? Can you see the Universal Law which shows us that polar opposites are necessary? Why not take a few moments to reply below? Or, if you want to share privately, then send me an email at james@LifesRollerCoaster.com. Together we might be able to walk through this. They say a burden shared is a burden halved.

Positive or Negative?

Texting: Is It The Next Best Thing?

(LB) There was a time when texting just didn't happen. I know, can you believe it? And when the first phones came out that offered the texting feature, it was a pain in the fingers. You had to hit the button twice for "B" or thrice for "C" and it generally took a lot of dedication to make it into a message. Then smartphones came along with their pop-up on-screen keyboard, and we were off to the races.

Now anyone with a smartphone can quickly and easily send a text message. It can be costly depending on your contract and that doesn't seem to stop  the endless stream of messages. According to Ask.com in 2010, in 2010 188 billion text messages were sent in the USA. According to Techvibes.com Canadians in 2012, sent about 8 billion texts a month, which given the relative population sizes of our two countries says we are equally text happy.

Texting is a fun and easy way to communicate and it is also rife with problems.

There is a sub group of texting: sexting, which presents all kinds of potential for problems. This form of texting involves the sending and receiving of graphic sexual content. It may be as simple as a shot of women's cleavage to a man showing his unmentionables. Depending on the age groups involved it could be interpreted by the courts as the transmission of child pornography which carries a pretty stiff penalty.

While in theory what consenting adults do with one another is generally seen as ok; there is a hidden pitfall. What happens when you break up? Will he or she show your personal texts and pictures to the world? Do you really want to run that risk? What if that ex-partner is really angry and sends the pictures on to your boss or posts them on one of the social media sites?  I guess the easy rule of thumb is: do you want your grandmother to see it? If no, then don't do it.

If you are a parent concerned about all of this stuff: social media, texting and such, check out your local school board. Here in BC many of them are offering free information sessions for parents and kids on how to stay safe on the internet and in texting. For me, texting works to confirm times and places for meetings or just as a small chit-chat - not as my primary means of communication.

(JL) I don't really have a lot to offer on this issue. I am someone who enjoys texting for quick catch-ups. The issues that I see facing us today is the lack of 'quality time' that people have now because they are busy texting and ignoring the person they are with. Or are texting the person the ARE with and not talking.

When texting came along I was thrilled to have yet another tool to communicate quickly and have a record for my poor memory. I have come to realize, though, that like all other social media, it lacks that human touch and often causes more trouble than it's worth. I still use it. But a lot less than I have in the past.

Lynne Brown is the owner and coach of www.OrcaCoachingConsulting.com. Lynne Brown has been a coach and mentor for the last 30 years. She has a passion for working with people by empowering them to achieve their dreams and set realistic and attainable goals. Lynne has high energy as well as a positive and empathetic approach. Lynne is a firm believer that one of the purposes in life is to have fun and she incorporates that into her coaching and consulting.

James Latour is the owner and coach of www.JLPSolutions.ca and writer on www.LifesRollerCoaster.com. James has over 25 years of experience working with the profit and not-for-profit sectors in with project management, human resources, fundraising and volunteerism and industry – related consulting. He is known for his team approach and follow through. If you are looking for an enthusiastic coach/consultant who walks the walk and talks the talk, you’ve found him. Recently James has turned his passion, writing, into a blog and is using his talent in more direct ways.

The Landfill Harmonic Orchestra

I came across the video via Facebook through UpWorthy. What a wonderful way of turning garbage into joy and wonder! Enjoy the Landfill Harmonic Orchestra.

• Their Facebook Page is: https://www.facebook.com/landfillharmonicmovie
• This video is on YouTube at: http://bit.ly/1hN3rjM 
• Note: There are other similar videos on YouTube about the Landfill Harmonic
• On UpWorthy: http://bit.ly/19HormQ

I am so amazed at how people with so little have so much joy. We really are a spoiled lot! Don't you think?

Wish<--Intention-->Manipulation

My Mum used to say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". She used to quote it like it was a Bible verse. The origin of this saying has been assigned from the saint to the poet. It doesn't matter, really. I have a better understanding of intention now than I did when my Mum was alive.

As the title suggests there are three things on this continuum. There is wish. There is intention. There is manipulation. All of us flow between these three throughout our lives. I may wish to have a clean house…and stop there. Or I may intend that I will spend an hour cleaning house. Or I may express myself in a way that will manipulate someone else to clean the house.

Intention is mixed with emotion and desire. Wishing is fanciful. Manipulation is controlling, damaging, about trying to change another person.

If we really desire something we must start by looking at that wish and seeing what we intend to do about it. That may include saving money, working longer/harder, seeking assistance (not by manipulating). It may mean making it known to yourself, a trusted friend and the Universe; then letting it go because at the present time that is the only thing that you can do. Perhaps the resources are just not there presently to make it so. By letting it go, you allow the Universe to work its wonders to equip you for intention.

It is when we try to change someone or do/say things that cause someone to be something that they truly aren't that it becomes manipulation. We've all done it! We've all gotten into relationships or friendships with the goal of changing someone's behaviour or way of being. We've all used the passive aggressive statements that garner attention, sympathy or reaction. This is manipulation at it's finest (or is it worst?).

We've all been on the receiving end of manipulation or someone else's good intentions. Think about it for a moment. Recall that situation and person to your mind right now. How did you feel when you were being manipulated, even if it was their perception that is was for your own good? So why do we have the right to do it to others when we don't like it being done to us?

Why do we remain in manipulative situations and relationships? There is usually a reason, positive purpose or pay out for us, even if that pay out is more pain so that we can remain as a victim or "safe" (better the devil you know than the devil you don't mentality). I've done it. So have you. So why not step into your/my own power and end that abusive relationship? I have, and I would encourage you to do it too. It is the most powerful and liberating thing you may do.

The last three years of my life has been about letting go of non-beneficial relationship/situations that do not serve me in the way that I have intended for myself. As part of this I've also learned to let go of controlling in the relationships/situations. Everyone, like me, like you, has their journey to live. Who am I that I could try to control that experience for another? It just isn't respectful. It's just another form of manipulation, even if it's wrapped in the pretty gift paper called protection or help. It's not always been easy or even what I thought I desired. But since I have intended to live my life in every way in integrity the Universe has conspired to bring that intention to be.

Examine your relationships. Are you in any way manipulating or being manipulated? Can you move from wishing to intention without manipulating? If so, wonderful! If not re-examine. Remember that real love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13: 4ff.

Perhaps wishing is where you are right now; as long as it doesn't go to the polar opposite. There's nothing wrong with having wishes or dreams. In many ways they are what get us through the tough times.

If we want to have wishes move forward and become reality we must move into intention. How? Sit down and see if that wish is really beneficial to/for you. If it is, then how can you make it so? It is in the setting up of the action that causes it to move from a wish (dream) to intention (goal). This may mean a small change or huge adjustment in your life. You can't get the ball into the end field with just wishing, you have to take action! If you really desire something, and you know it's the best thing for you, then the only way to get it is by letting go of the wish and moving into willingness to be/do something different.

My Truth: In all my relationships, whether personal or professional, especially over the last 2 - 3 years, I have chosen to really examine where I fit on the scale of wish to manipulation. Am I just dreaming, hoping that they could change? Am I being/doing anything to cause/allowing my wish to become reality? Or am I trying to manipulate something/someone to see may way? I used to have a boss whose mantra was "you have to push the river". That's manipulation! (He also loved typing emails that were capitalized or had lots of !!!) I'm learning that the harder I try to change someone/something through manipulation (even if I believe it's for their own good), the bigger the disappointment. I can only choose to change me. So the road to Heaven is paved with good wishes and intention. The road to Hell is paved with manipulation.

Are You Twitter-pated?

Introduction

This week we are looking at Twitter. There certainly are lots of reasons to use Twitter and just as many not to. There are also issues with how Twitter gets used these days. But first here is some information from Wikipedia.

Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables users to send and read "tweets", which are text messages limited to 140 characters. Registered users can read and post tweets but unregistered users can only read them.

Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey and by July 2006, the site was launched. The service rapidly gained worldwide popularity, with 500 million registered users in 2012, who posted 340 million tweets per day. The service also handled 1.6 billion search queries per day. Twitter is now one of the ten most visited websites, and has been described as "the SMS of the Internet."

Twitter spun off into its own company in April 2007. Williams provided insight into the ambiguity that defined this early period in a 2013 interview:

With Twitter, it wasn't clear what it was. They called it a social network, they called it microblogging, but it was hard to define, because it didn't replace anything. There was this path of discovery with something like that, where over time you figure out what it is. Twitter actually changed from what we thought it was in the beginning, which we described as status updates and a social utility. It is that, in part, but the insight we eventually came to was Twitter was really more of an information network than it is a social network.

(JL) Security: Like all other places-internet, it is possible to get hacked. In fact my old Twitter account has been hacked, even though I have shut it down. There seem to be other issues as well, such as public visibility and possible charges.

Tweets are publicly visible by default, but senders can restrict message delivery to just their followers. Users can tweet via the Twitter website, compatible external applications (such as smartphones), or by Short Message Service (SMS) available in certain countries. While the service is free, accessing it through SMS may incur phone service provider fees. [Link]

(JL) Censoring & HashTags: Like other social media it is possible to have some censored or be censored yourself. A new word in the English vocabulary is hashtags, which used to be two separate words. These are words that are attached to a tweet to cause or show interest on a topic. If you click on the hashtag (preceded by #) you will be able to follow the TOPIC, as opposed to the Tweeter. But be careful about hashtags. If users deem them offensive they will be removed/blocked by Twitter. So for example I may send the following tweet:

Tonight watch out for the holiday drinkers #drunkdrivers, #mad.

(JL) Limitations: Although Twitter is limited to only 140 characters (letters, spaces and punctuation) it is now possible to send larger messages on Twitter by using tools such as Tall Tweets which is one I like personally.

(JL) New Language to Learn: Probably one of the biggest pet peeves I have about most social media is the need to learn new vocabulary like RT, #, @, DM, This, TBH, OMG, LOL, MT, OH, +1, HT and so much more. See this link for more information on this.

(LB) This drives me nuts, especially when people tell you different definitions for the shorthand.

(JL) Life & Time Waster: Like all social media I am constantly amazed by the number of people who walk around with their noses to their smartphones on various social media tools. There has been a dramatic rise in emergency room visits caused by people with their noses to their phones and not watching where they are stepping, everything from broken bones to car accidents to falling down man holes (Yes that has actually happened) [link]. This doesn't even take into account the fact that people are so attached to their devices that they miss so much beauty that is around them. Talk about not being present!

I also wonder about people who have the time to be tweeting constantly. I tend to do it in bursts or I have used a service like Gremln, HootSuite or Twuffer to schedule tweets. One of the biggest challenges to date that I've found with these tools is that you can use them only lightly and then they want you to pay fees to use the service.

(JL) Social Skills Killer: Once again, Twitter is no different from other social media in that it is causing young people to grow up lacking social skills, thus creating problems in interviews, or if they get passed the interview, in their workplace. You seldom find a young person without their smartphone attached to them, even in the workplace.

(LB) Hint, turn off your phone if you are in an interview or even if you are at work. Your boss is not paying you to stay in constant communication with your friends. You are really there to work.

(JL) Connection: Although Twitter is used to keep people, businesses, organizations, events, connected with news, it lacks the real connection. Is it really possible to express emotion and intent? I don't believe so. That is one of the reasons why so many people have so much drama in their lives. They either mis-read or over-read words. They either place too little or too much meaning on the words in the tweet.

(LB) Couldn't agree more with this comment. I sent what I thought was a funny comment out and got back a cranky response from my nephew who had read what I said totally out of the context I had intended. This created some unneeded tension between us until we sorted it out. It really is those sorts of things that cause drama, and really life is too short for that kind of mindless drama.

(JL) Good wholesome fun: It is fun to tweet. You may be standing in a market and see a funny t-shirt, snap a shot and tweet it. You may be reading something and find an excellent quote you wish to share (limited to 140 characters though). For me it actually adds fun to my business and writing as well as communicating issues, events or ideas.

(LB) James has had a lot to say about Twitter and most of it is pretty positive, so let me be the devil's advocate. 

• First, what information can you possibly share in 140 that means any thing? Come on, who cares if you are eating dinner or watching TV or what ever vastly important thing you feel the need to share with the world.
• Secondly, Twitter is also promoted as a place you MUST be if you have a business. Been on Twitter for a couple of years and never had anyone contact me about work.
• Thirdly, Twitter is another place where bullying takes place. In fact, not that long ago Lady Gaga asked her fans to be polite and stop abusive tweets. Twitter is also that anonymous space where people feel free to say and show things that really most of use don't want to know.

So, I guess in summary you could say Twitter is a fun place to check in on, a poor place to live your life on.

Lynne Brown is the owner and coach of Orca Coaching & Consulting. Lynne Brown has been a coach and mentor for the last 30 years. She has a passion for working with people by empowering them to achieve their dreams and set realistic and attainable goals. Lynne has high energy as well as a positive and empathetic approach. Lynne is a firm believer that one of the purposes in life is to have fun and she incorporates that into her coaching and consulting.

James Latour is the owner and coach of JLP Solutions and writer on Life's Roller Coaster. James has over 25 years of experience working with the profit and not-for-profit sectors in with project management, human resources, fundraising and volunteerism and industry – related consulting. He is known for his team approach and follow through. If you are looking for an enthusiastic coach/consultant who walks the walk and talks the talk, you’ve found him. Recently James has turned his passion, writing, into a blog and is using his talent in more direct ways.