Dreamers, Greatness & Choice

I used this gem back in October 2013. I didn’t say very much about it; only one or two sentences. In life we have many choices. We can choose greatness or not. We can choose this person or that person to be romantically involved with. We can choose this career or that career. We can choose to drive a Chevy or a VW. The list of choices is endless really. And we tend to judge ourselves and others, especially loved ones, by the choices we make. Even making no choice at all is a choice.



So many of us have been caught up in the ‘greatness’  charismatic movements over the last few years because we feel that we are NOT making the right choices. We are not living with great wealth. We are in a career that sucks us dry instead of fills us with joy. We are with the wrong mate for whatever reason. We are obviously failing with our choices because we don’t have the millions in the bank, the BMW, the mansion, the other properties, the……

I know, because I’ve been caught up in some of these movements, even though my heart was screaming at me to run the other way. In trying to create wealth all I did was create debt by buying all the CD’s, courses, and ‘tools’ needed to succeed. In the last few years I have realized a new meaning to success. First of all, I realized that the way success looks to each of us is as different as the faces who see it. I am a successful parent; my children are growing and are living good lives. I am a successful janitor because I can look back at my shift and know I’ve done my very best. I’m a successful stay-at-home parent because I have created a home that is safe and loving. It can look very different to each person.

I believe that my life is really starting to show the results of changing some of my choices. For me success is satisfaction, joy, peace – a feeling that my life emulates what my heart strives for. One of those pieces for me was to let go of people who did not help to build me up. It is so easy to beat myself up; to see only my ‘failures’. I don’t like that word actually. I no longer believe there is such a thing as failure; just choices. Failure is a judgement call. And we all know what judgement feels like – especially self-judgement.

Today, I am so grateful for the friends I have because they do see greatness within me. I am so grateful for my children who have been my anchor over the last few years. I am so grateful for a job that allows me to express my greatness through my gifts and abilities. No, I’m not rich. No, I’m not a CEO of a mega-corporation. No I’m not what I even thought I’d be now when I look back to what I thought was greatness in my 20’s.

What I am is at peace with myself, my Creator, my surroundings, my professional life, my family and friends. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people who see greatness in me. What about you?


Dreamers, Greatness & Choice

God's Timing

For the last couple of years I have been in transition. Well to be correct, the transition began five years ago on July 1. But the last two years was a final farewell, officially, to my consulting business. It doesn't mean that I've given up on it or that I can't pick it up at anytime. In fact I'm consulting with a group who have a magnificent vision for a well needed community service. But I'm not charging.

When I finally let go, if you've been following from the start when I started this blog, I was then left with the letting go of my ego and asking the Provincial Government for help. At that time I thought it would be a monthly welfare cheque. But due to some on-going health issues over the years I was automatically put on Provincial Disability. Now the 'allowance' (because let's face it, it was not enough for me to live on) was small and the stresses it brought to me were deep. Last year another transition was when I finally let go of my debt load and worked a Consumer Proposal that would allow me to pay only a portion of my owings to my debtors. Yet another Ego release.

The last 19 months I was employed on-call, as well as receiving the Disability Allowance, with a local funeral firm. I will say right here, I am so very grateful for that job and the people who filled it with me. It allowed me a bit of 'wiggle room' and was actually responsible for me going the route of a Consumer Proposal rather than a second bankruptcy, which would destroy my credit for about 15 years (almost retirement). It also allowed me to grow stronger, both physically and emotionally, so that I could say with the utmost certainty that I was ready to return to full-time work.

Over these last months I have been looking for work. I had times of real disappointment as you can well imagine. Applying for work, if done properly, is a huge sales job of oneself. I couldn't sell a Band-aid to a bleeding patient! Yet I worked hard on pretty well every application. It was about integrity and allowing the Universe/God to work the necessary miracle.

My motto has been through all these months, even when in despair, I will get the most beneficial job in God's time; not a moment too soon, or a moment too late. So I've completed one week. The first day I came home with a headache the size of a 747! The second day, the same, except it was more like a small prop-plane. By day three I was feeling my stride. I love the work! It addresses my administrative abilities and qualifications. It has room for significant growth. It has a great environment. It has fantastic benefits some of which I'm already enjoying. I feel blessed. All those months of searching from the top of this province to the USA border and from East to West on Vancouver Island. I have applied for many jobs I was over qualified to do. I have applied...well...just because; because I needed to keep the energy flowing. With over 100 applications under my belt I had only gotten THREE interviews. Can you imagine?

So here I am. I am the Development Assistant at The Chemainus Theatre.

Not a moment too soon; nor a moment too late.