Celebrate The Little Things

I love Snoopy! He is my favourite Beagle! I like the other characters just fine, but Snoopy…. He’s my hero!

I used to be a very driven, A-Type personality. I have had 2 breakdowns, maybe even three. I’ve burned out at work more often than I care to admit. I’ve caused my body to rebel and shut down. I live with pain daily, probably because of this very behaviour.

Somewhere along the way in all my driven-ness, I forgot about Snoopy. I forgot to celebrate the little things. I forgot that when the world seems to be crashing down all around me that there are still little things to celebrate. Yes there are.

Every night before I go to sleep I write in my Gratitude Journal. Some days are hard and painful to get through. But I can still be grateful. In fact I have learned that when I am grateful for everything even the rough patches, that there are more good times ahead. When I keep myself in the attitude of gratitude it gets easier.

So here’s an entry from my journal:

• I am grateful for a pillow to lay down my very sore neck.


• I am grateful for the soreness in my body. It’s trying to remind me to slow down a bit.


• I am grateful for my kids.


• I am grateful for my wee apartment.

I usually list 10 or more. And yes I even include the lousy things that happened in my day. Why? Because there’s always someone, somewhere, having it harder than me. Because I am still above ground and can actually experience my life. Now it would be foolish to be thankful for terrible events. If a child dies am I thankful? Certainly not!!! Let’s not be foolish. But in time, I may become grateful for the events surrounding that tragedy. I may have acquired new friends. I may have been able to help others through their pain because I’d been there. So yes, I can be grateful, even in the midst of pain.

Try it!

 

Celebrate The Little Things

April Fools Day-Happy Birthday Tim!

Today is April Fools Day. Did you get someone good? Did someone get you good?

21 years ago today, someone got me REALLY good. 21 years ago today my youngest child, Timothy David, was born. Time sure flies…

Although we hadn’t planned to have Tim when we did, we had plans to have another child, and hopefully a boy after having had 2 girls. Tim’s Mum had a difficult pregnancy and labour with our second child. She was told not to get pregnant for a couple of years and let her body rest.

We were in the process of moving from the ministry that we serving in Oshawa, Ontario only a few weeks after Sarah was born. It was a stressful time for many reasons. We were packing to head to Calgary for our next, and what would be our last appointment in ministry. That’s where Tim was born on April 1, 1993.

I was coming home from the church office and when I got into the house I could hear my wife crying. So I followed the sounds down to the basement. We had one of those back-split houses where there were actually four levels with about 6 or so steps between each. I was at the second to last level before the basement and asked what was wrong. “I’m pregnant!” Wail….

I slid down that last set of stairs onto my a$$ at the bottom! We were in shock. But we knew that there was a reason (and not the obvious one either-smart Alecs). This was SURPRISE #1.

We finished packing and the movers moved all our stuff. We traveled across country with a colicky baby and a toddler I remember being sick as well. On top of that Mom was starting to feel that wonderful thing called morning sickness; except for her it was usually most of the day sickness. And riding in a small car with us was not pleasant.

Well winter came and went in Calgary (thank God!) and we were busy in our appointment expecting another May baby (same month as Sarah had been). We had taken precautions that this wouldn’t be happening again. I was scheduled for a vasectomy on…you guessed it…April Fools Day. Susan went into labour the day before. Her water had broken and the Doctors were quite sure she could just manage through until the due date if she took it easy. I wasn’t having any of that and demanded that they deliver our child. So this was SURPRISE #2.

Tim was born, blonde, blue – eyed (not the steel-blue of many newborns). Both his Mom and I are brunettes with Hazel and Brown eyes, respectively. The joke was that he was the mailman’s. But the mailman was a woman!!!! This was SURPRISE #3.

Oh, and what about that vasectomy? I managed to escape the blade because of the labour! That was a relief; not a surprise so much.

Although our little blonde and blue-eyed wonder was a surprise for us, he has filled our lives with joy and wonder ever since. Today I pay honour to my son. He stands almost 6 feet tall and has the build of a football player. I’m all of 5’6″ and 150 lbs. Over the years he has been my baby, my son, even my protector. In 2012 we both cruised to Hawaii and then spent 2 ½ days there. I’ll always remember him saying, “That was one for the books.” He was and still is a wonderful companion, friend and son.

We don’t live in the same city anymore. Tim moved to Victoria last year to be closer to his girlfriend, Jacquie. They are great together. It’s hard to imagine this day 21 years ago. I held a rather messy bundle in my arms for the first time and cried. And, silly me, as I type this my eyes are all teary again. I’m proud of you my son. Bless you. Happy Birthday!

April Fools Day-Happy Birthday Tim!

Believe In Yourself

Well it’s good to be back! Life certainly can get moving so quickly that you miss out on the things your really enjoy the most. I have working at a local funeral chapel since November and for the first time in over 20 years I love getting up in the morning to go to work. Yes! Believe it or not, I do love my job! I have also been taking a course on Tuesday nights that will see me certified as a Life Cycle Celebrant. And then there’s been the regular life stuff. I also had a bit of a writing block. So I gave myself permission to take some time off.

Now I’m back. Writing is always cathartic for me. So when I ran out of juice last month I knew that cathartic or not, pushing would only undue that for me.

I like this gem. Five admonitions all in one gem:

• Believe in yourself.


• Push your limits.


• Experience life.


• Conquer your goals.


• Be happy.

The first one seems so simple. Yet we all know it can be one of the most difficult challenges in life. It’s difficult for a young person new to the workforce to believe in himself if he has a boss or supervisor who constantly criticizes, blames, breaks him down. It’s difficult for the man in a codependent relationship with an addict (no matter what the addiction) because he is caused to constantly question everything. It’s difficult to be part of life when the media, family, friends, work, religion constantly undermine who we are. But it’s not impossible. For me, it’s about shutting off the noise of criticism, whether that be external or internal (this is usually my biggest battle).

After leaving an abusive relationship a few years ago I hadn’t really seen the damage to my self-esteem. I hadn’t seen how the constant exposure to abusive behaviours had slowly chopped away at who Me is. It took months, literally, to believe in myself again. And still I battle with it every now and again.

Push your limits! Go ahead. Push! If you have a goal surpass it! If you want to walk for five minutes a day, do 7, then 9 then…. But keep in mind, you are human. Be gentle on your psyche. We are delicate creators, we humans. Yes, push. But do so wisely.

Experience life. Now this reminds me of an online conversation I had not too long ago. A reader asked me if I was so busy trying to solve life that I might be missing out on it, not enjoying it. It was a valid observation. I am a pretty intense guy at times. However I am so much better at stopping to smell the roses and smile and laugh and play now. It was a great reminder for me. Thank you.

I would like to reword number four. I don’t conquer my goals, I achieve and/or surpass them. Conquering is so competitive, so driven, so archaic. When I set goals I set out to achieve or surpass them. But what about the times when I miss the goal? Again, be gentle. Re-assess. Set a new goal. Perhaps you can still achieve and surpass the original but for now you need to do something else or just do it differently, slower, with help.

Be happy. Be happy! BE HAPPY!!!

Believe In Yourself

Lizzie Velasquez - The World's Prettiest Friend

From The Friend Movement: ...
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Lizzie Velasquez - The World's Prettiest Friend

Crazy Love...Surviving Spousal Abuse

Leslie Morgan Steiner was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.

As a ‘survivor’ myself, I was truly moved by this TED Talk.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo&feature=youtu.be

 

 

Crazy Love...Surviving Spousal Abuse

Timing is Everything!

Timing is everything! I don’t belive anyone dies before they have agreed to do so. I don’t believe in happenstance or coincidence anymore either.

Everything has a season and there is a season for everything.

(Ecclesiastes 3)

I may not always (seldom in fact) understand why something has happened or why something has not happened. But I do believe it has happened, or will happen, at the perfect moment in our lives.

Life is full of mystery. But I have come to accept the great and small mysteries of life as part of the perfect ingredients we need to be who we are.

MY TRUTH: Thank you for the mystery of life. Thank you for the ‘timings’ in life. Thank you for LIFE…period!

 

Timing is Everything!

Dry Spell

Have you ever gotten on a roller coaster and wondered, “What the heck am I doing this for?” Have you ever left the park feeling like you’ve exhausted yourself and you have no more energy to give to riding the roller coaster and all the yelling and laughing and jerking around?

Well, that’s been me on this ride for the last couple of months, to be honest. And honesty is what this blog is about. I promised when I started to write this blog that it would include the ups and downs, the laughs and screams.

Since just before Christmas things in my life have been up and then down, up and then down further, then up a bit, and down a bit, then up a lot, then down a lot. It has been a long ride. In fact I think that some of the ride had water features, because I’ve felt all wet too, at times! Oddly, I say that, but I’ve been experiencing quite the dry spell with all my writing, including my private journal writing.

I have prided myself with writing a couple of weeks or more a head on my blog so that when this sort of thing happened, or I got too busy to write, I would still be on top of the ride. But I ran out of steam over a month ago now.

Now I’m not telling you this to get sympathy. Sympathy is a useless tool. It doesn’t really help anything. The last couple of weeks I’ve been reading two books. One is called Make Miracles in Forty Days: Turning What you Have into What you Want by Melody Beattie, and The law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles by Marianne Williamson. Both are two of my favourite authors. Well I have many favs actually. But I was calling for a Miracle in my life, several actually, and Melody’s book was sitting on my Kindle for quite some time and I’d ‘forgotten’ to read it. Well I don’t believe in happenstance or coincidences. So I read it. I’m now working with a friend to create some miracles in both of our lives. I recommend it highly.

Then part way through that book I cam across another book that was on my wish list (mentioned above) and so I started reading it as well. They compliment each other amazingly. 

Miracles, it seems, are not about
creating changes in circumstances.
They are about changing
the way we view circumstances.

For me, the miracles are already starting. I am so grateful. Some may be a while yet, in coming. That’s okay too. The first one is that I actually feel like writing again. It may not be daily for a bit. But I am getting back to it.

How has your ride been lately? Feel free to comment below or write me privately. I promise to reply.

Great people are not those who have never fallen down. Great people are those who, when they do fall down, dig deep within themselves and find the strength to get back up. Sometimes that dark night of the soul teaches us some very important things about ourselves…

The law of Divine Compensation:
On Work, Money, and Miracles
by Marianne Williamson

Dry Spell