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So I thought that I’d pick the archetype that bothered me the most when I first started this journey, thinking that you may be bothered by having a “Prostitute” as one of your survival archetypes.

I grew up in a world that was very strict and super conservative in religious beliefs. So hearing that I’m carrying a Prostitute around in my back pocket just didn’t cut it!

I’m so glad I didn’t give up at that point. If anything when someone says to me, “You can’t do it!” it makes me all the more stubborn to show I can do it! Sometimes stubborn is a good thing. Sometimes not! But that’s another discussion on another Archetype!

So, the Prostitute. I want re-emphasize, like the author, Dr. Caroline Myss, that these archetypes are ‘energies’ we have access to, or ‘parts of ourselves’, and most importantly, they hold no good or malice. They just are. And the title that Dr. Myss gives may not work for you, so rename it something that does work for you. She chose it because it made sense to her and because she opened her mind and heart to not the societal judgment, but to the purpose of this archetype.

I’m hoping I don’t get in trouble for a direct quote from her book, Sacred Contracts. I’m giving full credit to her work and recommending that you either go buy the book (paperback if you like to make notes, Kindle if not) or get it at the library and read it. There is no way I could do her decades of work any justice when I’ve only been on this journey for less than a year!

Prostitute

The Prostitute archetype engages lessons in integrity and the sale or negotiation of one’s integrity or spirit due too fears of physical and financial survival or for financial gain. This archetype activates the aspects of the unconscious that are related to seduction and control, whereby you are as capable of buying a controlling interest in another person as you are in selling your own power. Prostitution should also be understood as the selling of your talents, ideas, and any other expression of the self – or the selling-out of them. This archetype is universal and its core learning relates to the need to birth and refine self-esteem and self-respect. -> Page 407, Sacred Contracts, Caroline Myss.

Does that help? The bolding and underlining are mine. You may or may not remember that last week I said that all Archetypes have a Light and Shadow side to them. Here’s how I see the Prostitute from my emphases above:

Light
Engages lessons in integrity
Selling of your talents, ideas and self-expression (your work, qualifications, abilities for a greater cause)
Self-esteem
Self-respect

Shadow
Selling or negotiation of one’s integrity
Selling or negotiation of one’s spirit
Seduction and control of others and/or situations
Selling of one’s own power (disempowerment)
Selling of your talents, ideas and self-expression (selling out)

Above you see that I put selling of your talents, ideas and self-expression in BOTH categories. That’s because we can sell ourselves, for example, when applying for a job, selling a project, even selling one’s self for a relationship (light). We can also sell out in situations when our integrity is being tested and we allow ourselves to be pushed around, abused, manipulated, disempowered.

Maybe a gentle name for this Archetype could be Salesman. But I now feel comfortable with Prostitute. It seems to hold the description better for me.

So now, what about a life example? I will give you two. I have MANY, believe me!

Situation 1:

I worked for a man who had a great ‘intention’ in helping men who were being pushed around by the system either in the process or after separation and divorce. These men often found themselves paying too much support for their income, kept from seeing their children, maligned by the other parent and a whole lot more.

What a great cause right? Or so I thought. I tried for three plus years to change him by allowing just little things to slip. I would ignore lies about funding. I would write proposals to organizations and government with little white lies or manipulated statistics in them. I would write proposals asking for money, knowing that money was being funnelled from those proposed programs to other non-related programs and activities and even a person pocket!

I believe that women have had it tough! I really do. I consider myself to be a third wave feminist. But I also believe that in the fight over chattels and children BOTH parties play some very terrible games. Women have wonderful resources available to them. Our community had a fantastic support system for women but nothing for men. So this organization was started for that purpose.

At first I was oblivious to it all. Then I saw this man manipulating people and raging around like a madman on more than one occasion. I learned the ‘other side’ of his marital woes, too. Keep in mind that there are always at least three truths, my truth, your truth, and the truth in the middle.

But there came a day when I was alone in the centre and forced to go looking for a receipt to return a defective thumb drive. Everyone was on vacation. As I went looking through files and records I realized that I’d had my head of my #$$ for too long. I had to leave and I did.

But for three years I turned a deaf ear, blind eye or what have you on the premise that I could be part of doing good. But when I sat down with Spirit that day I realized I was really in it for the security of a job.

I had sold myself out!

The Light side of the Prostitute archetype showed me this. And has been showing me this again and again BEFORE it gets that far. It has made me unpopular, lose jobs and contracts and much “security”.

Situation 2:

This is a very personal one and I don’t share it out of malice. Forgiveness has happened and nothing meant for harm done.

I fell in love with a man. And I believe he fell in love with me. I don’t think we could have lasted 11.5 years otherwise. But there was one major problem. He had addiction issues. He also needed to have sexual freedom. In so many ways he was a wonderful man and I loved him to death. In fact it almost ended that way. I kept turning a blind eye, keeping the peace, pretending, not communicating my needs until my health failed me and I ended up in a cardiac ward. I was there for several days and he never visited me. I knew in my heart what was going on. But even there, in that desperate state, I sold out.

I had two friends visit me. They literally saved my life that day. We’ve since grown apart and that saddens me. But I remember one of my friends went on a racket about how I was left there for days alone with no visits. Her partner hushed her, took me by the hand and said, “James, you know that the heart issues you’re having are NOT because of your family genes. You know why? You have a broken heart! Now what are you going to do about it?” That statement, although delivered in love, hit me like a brick wall. And in that moment I knew she was correct. Once again I had prostituted myself. Once again I had given into fear and wanted security and a future and a dream, which was now a nightmare!

Not too long after I moved out and began divorce proceedings I met another man. He was lovely! He wined me and dined me! I was cautiously optimistic. But I soon realized that he was lying to me as well. This time my Prostitute archetype made me aware and I listened.  I ended it only after 3 or 4 weeks.

 

Now both of these situations have stories inside of stories and truth on both sides as well as fault on both sides. It’s not my purpose to point fingers only at myself. If I had listened to the inner voice (I didn’t know about archetypes then) I would have never allowed myself to be in either of those situations.

So you see the Prostitute archetype does indeed work for us. We can take that power and either use it for good or not. I still battle every day almost with this. To listen to what looks like security and not. I am a Cancer after all. Security is big. Home is big. Family is big. Nice things is big. But I hope that my journey had paved the way for me to never sell myself out or short again.

‘Til next week…

Remember that you are AWESOME, created for awesome things. Never sell out or sell yourself short.

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Four Survival!

That’s NOT a spelling error! I meant foUr!

In Caroline Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts, Myss starts off the process of discovering my Archetypes by saying that we all share the same basic four. Now as I read what she called them I really had to keep an open mind. I’m asking you to do the same. They are Archetypes that are very active right from childhood.

These four are:

1. The Child
2. The Victim
3. The Saboteur
4. The Prostitute

Now, probably like you I wasn’t overly thrilled beyond number one! But Myss goes on to say that you can call them whatever you want. These are the names that she gave because she felt that they made sense. And now that I’ve done the work I understand the titles more and agree.

Keep in mind that these Archetypes are parts of your inner self. They are energies within our own psyche.

The Child represents innocence. We who grew up in the 70’s heard tons about searching out our inner child and getting in touch with our inner child. Unfortunately society painted the inner child is a place of victimhood. This is NOT what we are going to do here. The Child Archetype, as I understand it, is that part of us that represents the innocent, naive, playful, in need of direction energy. Children are born. I have to say here that I do not believe that we are born into sin as some would have us believe. Have you looked at a newborn lately? That innocent little life! That little bundle of joy needs us to care for him/her. It a few years before they start to show that side of them which some call sinful. And even then, is it? Or is it learning about the world around him. Learning to push boundaries so that she can grow up strong and independent? Yes, as we age we learn to do things that are not desirable. We learned to hurt others – our siblings first, if we had any. We learned to steal. We learned to be prejudice (likely from our parents).

A child must be brought up in a way that is going to bring about a strong adult. A child must be shown compassion in order to show it to others. A child must be led by the hand and told not to put his hand on the stove or herself in harm’s way. That is the job of the parent and the surrounding community. Although the nuclear family seems to have dumped it all on the parent with very little support from the community as in days past.

As this Child Archetype matures, he can become a magical Child, or Divine Child, or perhaps the Wounded Child, or the Orphaned Child. Some children never seem to grow up so they remain the Eternal Child.

Miss goes on to say that each Archetype (facet of our own personhood) has a Light side and a Shadow side. Now I bet, because of the way I phrased it you automatically connected the Eternal Child with those guys who just never grow up and always need a mommy to take care of them. And you are partly correct! But that’s just the shadow side. The Eternal Child who remains in the Light becomes that innocent adult. Perhaps the one who sees everything through rose-coloured glasses. Perhaps that person who seems to possess a childlike faith. Perhaps that person who seems to so easily identify with children and no matter when or where he gets right down on the floor, in his tux, and plays with the little child needing some attention.

The Magical Child, is somewhat similar. She can have a faith beyond compare. She can conjure up anything good that she needs. She is delightful to be around, because her child loves to play with magic (the unexplainable).

What about the Wounded Child? Well that has a Light and Shadow as well. My Wounded Child, when I discovered him back in 2000 doing some introspective counselling was the little boy, James, sitting in a dark corner holding on to his teddy bear, crying, terrified, abused, bruised and bleeding. And that’s okay…well sort of. No child should ever have to endure abuse of any kind. No child should ever need to feel terror. The shadow wounded child, I used to make excuses for behaviour. Oh, I’m not very tolerant of that because my mommy used to beat me. Or I am afraid to show myself to the other boys in the shower because so-and-so molested me! I entered into a dialogue of woundology which back them seemed to be acceptable. If we could blame our bad behaviours on someone else legitimately then why not? I’ll tell you why not! It’s because that kind of blaming creates a sinkhole in our souls. We get sucked into it. We allow our lives to come from a place of victimhood. We join ‘support groups’. I’m not a fan of support groups to be honest. Yes! There are some excellent ones out there. But they are groups that should spurn you on into adulthood causing you to take your own behaviours and claim them for what they are…your choices! Not the devil made me do it! Too many of the support groups promote woundology and keep you sick. Is that how you want to be supported? Do you want your child to remain in that dark corner, powerless and crying. If so, all the power…or powerlessness to you! I’m a big boy now! Well that was a bit of a rant!

This Child Archetype has a wonderful side. He is the innocent one. She is the faithful one. He is the Archetype that warns you when someone is about to stomp all over your life and hurt you. She is the one that tells you to get off your ass and go play on the floor with the kids…or the adults!

The Shadow Child Archetype is the child from two paragraphs ago. The one who wants you to feel powerless because the world (adults) is a terrifying place. He is the one who will rant and yell and stomp his feet until he gets his candy (or way at work). She is the one who engages in woundology behaviour and totally disempowers you.

We all have the Child Archetype. And for Light or shadow, we have engaged that child in a variety of ways both to serve us positively or to disempower us.

What is your Child Archetype up to?

Next week: The Victim

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